# Chapter 02 Initial Draft Assessment

Target: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_02.round_01.md`

## Verdict

ACCEPT AS BASE WITH TARGETED REPAIR.

## What Works

- The chapter makes the card's dramatic engine active: Theo keeps trying to convert a moral problem into logistics, and each logistics move binds the fake arrangement tighter.
- June's suspicion is concrete and useful: "Nontransferable. Walk me through it" turns the packet into pressure rather than exposition.
- Odile's pre-reveal knowledge remains rereadable without being exposed. She edits "couple/pair/partner" and writes PARK / BRENNAN herself, while Theo plausibly misfiles it as her usual wording fuss.
- Theo's nephew identity stays hidden from June and the reader; the draft relies on omitted explanation and payroll language rather than false denial.

## Blocking / Repair Orders

1. Mechanical gate: raw draft fails `fieldguide-one-sentence-paragraph-gravity` (`scene 1: 5 > cap 2`). Combine or expand the clustered one-sentence paragraphs, especially the opening Odile exchange and isolated email transition beats.
2. Line 27 assumes "thirty thousand feet"; replace with a lease/calendar-bound formulation so the chapter does not over-specify June's departure mechanics.
3. Cut or roughen the most polished Theo-gloss candidates:
   - "That was the reasoning, and it held up as long as he kept it moving."
   - "the room was his again, the way it was his every night, which was to say on loan."
   These are not fatal, but they lean toward Claude's elegant explanatory closure.
4. Preserve the story-critical terms: "nontransferable," "slots are issued to the two names," "eight Tuesdays," "bounded," and "looking is the assignment."

## No Rewrite Needed

A fresh Claude rewrite is not justified. The draft's pressure, calendar orientation, and character work are all sound; revision should be line-level and rhythm-level.
