# Claude-Tic Audit - Chapter 05 Raw Draft

Target: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_05.round_01.md`
Mechanical WATCH seed from `bash scripts/quality_gate.sh output/drafts/claude/chapter_05.round_01.md`: open=5, WATCH=92. WATCH patterns: repeated descriptor 38, titlecase heading 1, trailing participle 14, transition verbs 4, hands/body 14, eyes 6, stock `weight of` 1, em dash dialogue 1, uncontracted casual dialogue 2, jaw/face 2, familiar/usual 1, and/but start 2, emotional subtitle 1, chest 1, from-x-to-y 1.

- FOUND - tic 1 em-dash overuse - 1 instance - line 65: `"The chin was—"` - ORDER: licensed as interrupted speech but keep as the only em dash in the chapter; do not add more during synthesis.
- FOUND - tic 2 shimmer prose / atmospheric drift - 3 instances - line 11: `"forgiveness was Tuesdays at seven"`; line 39: `"red weather"`; line 105: `"ugly as testimony"` - ORDER: replace or ground these in concrete object/action language. The chapter's pressure is already strong without lyric labels.
- CLEAR - tic 3 recurring sentence-mood verbs - checked mood verbs and WATCH `weight of` hit - nearest miss: line 41 `"with the full weight of the seating arrangement landing"` - why it passes: not a recurring mood-verb pattern, but revise the `weight` phrase during synthesis because the registry flagged it.
- CLEAR - tic 4 default-elegant noun phrases - checked for `a kind of`, `something like`, default small/quiet/careful phrasing - nearest miss: line 13 `"made the face of a woman watching a guest try to wash dishes"` - why it passes: concrete social-comedy comparison, not default elegant vagueness.
- CLEAR - tic 5 habitual qualifiers / softeners - checked for adverbial dampening and hedging - nearest miss: line 35 `"embarrassed everyone slightly"` - why it passes: isolated and functional; no habitual softening pattern.
- FOUND - tic 6 narrator-as-philosopher intrusion - 3 instances - line 11: `"forgiveness was Tuesdays at seven"`; line 75: `"the instructions were the social contract of the entire room"`; line 91: `"The information had simply moved in"` - ORDER: keep June's thought close to action/page/mark. Remove philosophical summary where the drawing can carry the thought.
- FOUND - tic 7 theme-explanation through narrator gloss - 2 instances - line 81: `"The correction was the lie"`; line 91: `"Nobody had asked her to be able to do that"` - ORDER: soften into perception and consequence. Do not caption the false-relationship theme.
- FOUND - tic 8 recursive negation / contrast pattern - 2 instances - line 57: `"Not because... Because..."`; line 91: `"Not a mouth. His."` - ORDER: merge the `Because` fragment to clear BANNED; retain the mouth recognition in grammatical prose rather than fragment-stamp.
- CLEAR - tic 9 self-aware meta-clauses - checked for `if that was the word`, `if there was a word`, and comparable meta-disclaimer - nearest miss: line 21 `"which she chose not to develop as a thought"` - why it passes: June's deflective interiority, isolated and voice-consistent.
- FOUND - tic 10 over-balanced sentence structures - 6 instances - line 23 paired-room setup; line 57 first-attempt explanation; line 75 social-contract paragraph; line 79 glasses/collar sentence; line 83 drift-and-return sentence; line 105 cleanup/bin sentence - ORDER: break the longest chains and trim repeated subordinate clauses.
- FOUND - tic 11 profundity-stamp / one-sentence paragraph pattern - 1 blocking pattern plus nearest closing miss - line 77: `"So she did the exercise."` contributes to one-sentence paragraph cap; line 111 closing line is action-based and acceptable - ORDER: fold line 77 into adjacent prose or replace with action. Keep the closing as an action, not a maxim.
- CLEAR - tic 12 default lovely/quiet/small register - checked ugly/awkward passages - nearest miss: line 89 `"It was ugly. It was genuinely, indefensibly ugly"` - why it passes in register but fails mechanically for echo; repair echo without prettifying the drawing.
- CLEAR - tic 13 physical reaction defaults - checked for throat, heartbeat, breath, jaw-as-feeling, chest-as-feeling - nearest miss: line 93 `"holding his own pad against his chest"` - why it passes: literal blocking, not emotion shorthand.
- FOUND - book-specific: mechanical gate blockers - 5 open instances - line 57 standalone `Because`; line 77 one-sentence paragraph cap; line 83 `He held... He held`; line 89 `It was... It was`; cap cluster around one-sentence paragraphs - ORDER: repair before integration; no allowlist.
- FOUND - book-specific: hands/eyes density - hands/body 14, eyes 6 - lines 39, 57, 79, 81, 83 are the main drawing-mechanics cluster - ORDER: convert several `hand/eye` mechanics to line/charcoal/page/attention while preserving blind-contour clarity.
- FOUND - book-specific: beauty wording - 1 instance - line 103: `"Luis had made her beautiful"` - ORDER: replace; Chapter 05 must avoid beauty dynamics even in comic cohort shorthand.
- CLEAR - book-specific: protected threads/reveals - checked protected relation, Odile knowledge, scarf, Ruth, Philadelphia/Nia/Asha, first snow - nearest miss: line 15 scarf extension and line 103 Ruth ordinary presence - why it passes: scarf is preserved for later and Ruth is passive.

WATCH-count reconciliation: the 92 WATCH hits map mainly to ensemble/name repetition, drawing-mechanics hands/eyes, and long action sentences. The audit escalates hands/eyes and over-balanced sentence shape into repair orders; the other WATCH clusters are either structural (chapter heading) or licensed by the class exercise.

Chapter verdict: TICS-FOUND (8). Blocks acceptance until the listed local repairs are executed during synthesis and verified by the mechanical gate.
