# Claude-Tic Audit - Chapter 09 Raw Draft

Target: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_09.round_01.md`

WATCH-count input from raw gate: repeated descriptors 41; title case heading 1; eyes 4; trailing participles 11; steel/texture 1; emdash-participial absolute 2; hands/body 6; emdash comma-list 2; raw 1; from-x-to-y 1; bold-in-prose 1; showcase cluster 1; cold 1; for-a-moment 1; sensory checklist 1; jaw/teeth 2; transition verbs 1. Open findings: 6.

- FOUND - tic 1 em-dash overuse - 10+ instances - evidence includes line 13 "shelf pieces — glazed stoneware", line 21 "patches — block", line 41 "doing — pickup", line 45 "decision — that part", line 47 "nothing — a value run", line 101 "beige — through neglect", line 135 clock-out app dashes - ORDER: convert most to colons, commas, or separate sentences; leave no dash rhythm cluster.
- CLEAR - tic 2 shimmer prose - checked worksite description and reflective turns - nearest miss: "city growing a handle" (line 101) - passes as June-specific material figure, but keep density low.
- FOUND - tic 3 sentence-mood verbs - 1 instance - line 3 "The blade mattered" - ORDER: replace with concrete work requirement.
- CLEAR - tic 4 default-elegant noun phrases - checked for "a kind of", "something like", generic small/quiet/careful - nearest miss: "smallest crumb of raw umber" (line 45) - literal material quantity, not elegance default.
- FOUND - tic 5 habitual qualifiers / softeners - pattern-level - evidence: "briefly and against her own policy" (line 49), "with some effort" (line 121), "exactly" line 3, "apparently" line 47 - ORDER: cut where the sentence can carry itself; keep only June-specific precision.
- CLEAR - tic 6 narrator philosopher intrusion - checked reflective sections - nearest miss: "You couldn't fail to move into a thing that didn't exist" (line 101) - close to theme, but attached to June's concrete housing/art problem. Keep if surrounding abstraction is thinned.
- FOUND - tic 7 theme explanation after beat - 2 instances - line 75 "which told her what her own silence had been worth"; line 111 "That was the job working as designed" - ORDER: cut or attach to action where possible.
- CLEAR - tic 8 recursive negation - checked full draft - nearest miss: "neither one was a fantasy and neither one was nothing" (line 101) - double contrast but not recursive negation cascade; acceptable if chapter's two-path pressure needs it.
- CLEAR - tic 9 self-aware meta-clause - checked for "if that was the word" family - nearest miss: none found.
- FOUND - tic 10 over-balanced sentence structures - several - evidence: line 73 "A door... A wall... Regular money... Philadelphia"; line 101 two-shapes sentence; line 107 long multi-clause crate sentence - ORDER: preserve some June cadence but break the longest chains.
- CLEAR - tic 11 profundity-stamp ending - checked final paragraph - nearest miss: "she didn't push it down" (line 137) - action ending with object consequence, not standalone profundity.
- CLEAR - tic 12 default lovely/quiet/small register - checked tonal field - nearest miss: "good kind of terrible jacket" (line 113) - worksite comic precision, not lovely-small drift.
- CLEAR - tic 13 physical reaction defaults - checked for heartbeat/throat/jaw as feeling proxies - nearest miss: "teeth in a jaw" (line 107) - not reaction, but still cut for jaw-watch.

Book-specific additions:

- FOUND - markdown/formatting prose artifact - line 65 bold `**Nia Torres.**` - ORDER: remove bold.
- FOUND - one-sentence paragraph cap - raw gate found 4 > cap 2 - ORDER: combine where rhythm is decorative.
- FOUND - Ch08 object-personification carryover risk - line 21 "wall confessed"; line 61 phone "waited" - ORDER: reduce to shown work action.
- FOUND - objectless desire wording - line 125 "wanted her hands busy" - ORDER: give the want a concrete object or rephrase.

WATCH-count reconciliation: raw WATCH density is explainable by worksite vocabulary, hands-as-tools, and art/material terms, but the em-dash and one-sentence-paragraph counts correctly identified Claude rhythm defaults. Orders executed in the integrated chapter before any acceptance.

Chapter verdict: TICS-FOUND (8). Blocks raw acceptance; integrated repair required.
