# Chapter 12 Initial Draft Assessment

## Source

- Claude prose draft: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_12.round_01.md`
- Integrated chapter: `output/chapters/chapter_12.md`
- Chapter card: `The Memory He Chooses`

## Verdict

Accepted as the Chapter 12 prose base. The draft lands the required off-Tuesday memory exchange with Theo POV, gives both memories concrete paintable material, keeps the protected reveals intact, and ends on custody/action rather than confession.

## Strengths Kept

- Strong opening engine: Theo rejecting too-safe memories under Odile's Week 5 prep card.
- Theo's childhood drawing memory is specific, non-Odile-centered, and paintable: airshaft, brick courses, waste pipe, laundry line, clothespins, Key Food circular, chicken-thigh ghost.
- June's erased-wall memory is material rather than sentimental: project room, green field/orange interval, `Leave the room ready`, outlet plate, primer, Decorator's White, slop sink, clean edges.
- The scene keeps Theo's growth correctly small: he wants to repair June's memory but records what she gives him instead.
- The public-couple pressure advances through `PARTNER`, the cubby/gallery context, Mara/Ruth as anticipated observers, and the fact of Monday-night memory exchange, without exposing the lie.

## Repairs Already Applied Before Audit

- Repaired four raw mechanical blockers: one-sentence paragraph accumulation, `the way she did when`, comma-then sequencing, and the opening raw draft's typo `ressed`.
- Replaced extra em dash usage with sentence punctuation or commas.
- Removed the `the way you circle...` simile, the extra cat/cousin/family clutter in disposable memories, and several `which`/caption shapes.
- Replaced `Dom's shop is something` with a concrete forms line.
- Reduced hand foregrounding at the close and removed a recursive negation watch beat.

## Current Risk

- The chapter is reflective and dialogue-driven; audits should watch for Thought Development/Plain Translation issues around Theo over-explaining why the exchange matters.
- June's erased-wall speech is intentionally process-dense. Clarity should hold because every process detail is paintable and feeds Ch13/Ch16, but Dialogue Doctor should ensure it does not become a monologue without Theo pressure.
- The final note `GREEN FIRST. THE WHITE HAS TO COVER SOMETHING.` is strong and useful for later fear-canvas payoff; Plain Translation should test whether it is sufficiently object-bound rather than thesis.

## Mechanical State

After integration cleanup, `bash scripts/quality_gate.sh output/chapters/chapter_12.md` passes with open=0, allowlisted=0, WATCH=52.
