# Comedy Doctor — Chapter 15: Keys Elsewhere

Calibration: reading-guide register is warm/precise/lightly comic — O'Leary warmth, Henry at ~60% banter density, Morisaki-quiet floor. The chapter's committed feeling is adult temptation; comedy must not unserious the offer or reduce Nia/Asha to setup machines. Every judgment below is against that reader, not workshop taste.

`INVENTORY:`

`1 — "popping with a sound like a knuckle... chin clamped on the top spine" (line 3) — mechanism: precise physical anticlimax (failure arriving one stitch at a time) — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no (nine gray-spined Ch14 catalogs as literal weight) — dramatic work: opens in action, makes the loan a body-burden before it is a danger — workshopped: no`

`2 — "This took four minutes to establish and involved every flat surface she owned." (line 5) — mechanism: deadpan quantification of avoidance — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (runs on the 8" vs 10.5" shelf math around it) — dramatic work: avoidance rendered as site survey, June's tension tell per card — workshopped: no`

`3 — "The kitchen table was the kitchen table." (line 5) — mechanism: tautological deflation — source: narrator-overlay (a shrug any narrator could perform; the surrounding survey is doing measurement, this beat coasts) — funniness: 1 — portable: yes — dramatic work: NONE beyond list filler — workshopped: no — BLOCKING`

`4 — "less like books and more like a deposit she was holding against her own behavior" (line 5) — mechanism: reclassification simile — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Theo's ledger, blank returned column) — dramatic work: arms S-CATALOG-01 as felt obligation — workshopped: no (adjacent to the "not X, but Y" flag; single use, commits fully to the second term)`

`5 — slip-volume bit: bottom of stack, "She told herself that was about weight distribution," quarter-inch of cream, stack turned to face the wall (line 7) — mechanism: transparent self-deception, escalation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the paper-slipped volume is the Ch17 bomb) — dramatic work: protects the acknowledgment-page thread while dramatizing avoidance — workshopped: no`

`6 — "if she moved it now she'd be admitting she'd noticed" (line 9) — mechanism: avoidance-logic — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (umber cuff) — dramatic work: kiss pressure carried by object, per card — workshopped: no`

`7 — "Pen that worked, established by scribble." (line 9) — mechanism: procedural deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no ("established by" is June's audit voice) — dramatic work: preparation-as-fear — workshopped: no`

`8 — "because she had run out of furniture to rearrange" (line 9) — mechanism: deflation of her own stalling — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: pivots setup into the call — workshopped: no`

`9 — "It had been unopened for twenty-six hours." (line 11) — mechanism: quantified avoidance — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (mineral spirits jar from Ch14) — dramatic work: keeps the kept-mark choice live and unresolved — workshopped: no`

`10 — "it was not a question you asked, it was a question you got answered by asking the others" (line 11) — mechanism: wit-logic reclassification — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: fear managed by procedure, in-voice — workshopped: no (balanced antithesis, but it is genuinely her reasoning, not decoration)`

`11 — "both of which were real, neither of which had taken until eight-forty" (line 13) — mechanism: symmetrical self-indictment — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: confesses the two-day stall without narration naming guilt — workshopped: no (the symmetry mirrors June's self-audit; checked and passed)`

`12 — "For two days." / "They were complicated panels." (lines 19–21) — mechanism: committed transparent lie + straight-line deadpan — source: character (both) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Ch14 panels, Tuesday text) — dramatic work: establishes guilt and Nia's no-pity peer candor in four lines — workshopped: no`

`13 — "an etching press that needs listening to" (line 27) — mechanism: craft-idiom personification — source: character (Nia's shop knowledge) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the job's texture is real, anti-brochure — workshopped: no`

`14 — "Her handwriting had gotten neat, which it did when nothing else was." (line 29) — mechanism: reversal epigram — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: tension tell, seeds the gag at lines 43/61/111 — workshopped: YES on shape: this is a new evaluative ", which" caption, a family repaired to zero in Ch11, lone-survivor in Ch13, and ordered to add zero in Ch14 — BLOCKING`

`15 — "This is why I called you and not the other names on my list" / "Marco's been opening it with a screwdriver." (line 33) — mechanism: character recognition + situation specificity — source: character/situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the offer is respect-sourced; the room genuinely needs her — workshopped: no`

`16 — "Either way it's an afternoon." June heard herself and stopped. "Hypothetically." (line 35) — mechanism: self-betrayal and retraction — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the chapter's engine in one beat — competence outruns caution, planting the press-vs-wall trap before the narration names it — workshopped: no`

`17 — "I've heard it. People say it near me." (line 39) — mechanism: gig-economy self-deprecation — source: character — funniness: 1 (the referent of "it" floats between W-2 and benefits; the joke is a freelancer zinger that predates this book) — portable: yes — dramatic work: marks June's precarity, but the chapter already owns the anchored version (Asha's net-45 line) — workshopped: yes (punchline syntax, composed-for-quotation) — BLOCKING`

`18 — "Pay's not glamorous. That's one of its virtues." (line 41) — mechanism: paradox deflation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no by license (near-verbatim Nia voice-card sample; sanctioned, noted as transplant) — dramatic work: keeps the offer unglamorous and therefore serious — workshopped: no`

`19 — "your portion of whatever you're doing now" (line 41) — mechanism: euphemistic precision as gentle needle — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: rent pressure without a finances montage — workshopped: no`

`20 — "I can do math," June agreed. / margin already done, "the way Nia knew it would" (line 43) — mechanism: deflection undercut by evidence — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the offer survives June's own audit; temptation stays rational — workshopped: no`

`21 — "You're being very fair about the part where it might evaporate." (line 53) — mechanism: naming-the-subtext dryness — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: certifies Nia as non-villain, offer as non-strawman — workshopped: no`

`22 — "I know you're taking notes. I can hear the pen." (line 75) — mechanism: situation intimacy, peer who knows her tells — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: respect-not-pity made audible — workshopped: no`

`23 — "Noon. Eat lunch after." (line 79) — mechanism: deadpan button — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the deadline made humane, which makes it harder to dodge — workshopped: no (checked against Odile's "Eat" register: this is scheduling pragmatism, not feeding-as-care; no encroachment)`

`24 — Dario exchange: "do I give your slot to Dario" / "He overtightens everything." / "He does. So that's a yes?" / "That's a hold." (lines 85–91) — mechanism: third-party specificity + work shorthand — source: character (both) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (a torque judgment is installer-world) — dramatic work: NY path made concrete; forces June to name her stall out loud ("a hold") — workshopped: no (sitcom-cadence check run: one joke, one concession, immediate return to business; Asha answers sincerely; passes the plain-speech floor)`

`25 — "340/mo, no heat after 10pm, you'd love it, it's terrible" / "send pics of the terrible room" (lines 93–95) — mechanism: paradox recommendation + echo — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the rent/heat specifics anchor a portable joke shape; checked, anchored) — dramatic work: the NY alternative is unglamorous and real, anti-postcard per card — workshopped: no`

`26 — "not surprised. That was the trouble with it. Surprised she could have explained." (line 99) — mechanism: timing reversal, deadpan ache — source: character — funniness: 2 (lands as a turn, not a laugh; inventoried for its epigram shape) — portable: no (the flyer photo, forty copies, 80lb matte) — dramatic work: kiss pressure without restaging the kiss — workshopped: no (the reversal is June's diagnostic move, not quotation-bait)`

`27 — coat count: "one occupied by a coat that I ruled counts" / "The coat counts. Coats are people who left their position marked." / "That's going in the label notes." (lines 101–105) — mechanism: deadpan adjudication + definitional reclassification — source: character (Theo's logistical tenderness; June's label precision) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (41 chairs, 6 p.m./9:40 states, After Class label drafts) — dramatic work: heavy — keeps Theo present without offer leakage, and June's definition is the chapter's covert thesis: she is about to leave her own position marked (receipt under jar). The line entering "label notes" seeds the artifact-borne disclosure channel — workshopped: no, ruled after work shown: the maxim shape answers a literal data question (does the coat count as occupancy), and the tag logs it into a real in-world document rather than winking. This is June's one aphorism-grade line for the chapter; see tracker notes.`

`28 — "in case the rest of the answer came from the same pen. It didn't come." (line 113) — mechanism: literalized hope, flat deflation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: refuses the decision without narrating refusal — workshopped: no`

`29 — "so it couldn't slide off, fold shut, or otherwise excuse itself" (line 115) — mechanism: rule-of-three with anthropomorphic swerve — source: character (June rigs the environment against her own excuse-making; the receipt only "excuses itself" in her projection) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: converts the unanswered decision into a physical arrangement; the chapter's close — workshopped: no, with the caveat that triplet-plus-abstract-swerve is a stock composed shape and object-as-agent families are repeatedly capped in this book; logged as count 1, see tracker notes`

**Distribution checks.**
- *Density:* high-normal for the register and correctly shaped — comedy concentrates in the setup choreography and the texts, and goes silent at the load points. The page-read ("The whole thing was good... The flaw wasn't in the offer."), the press-vs-wall image at lines 67–69, and the final two paragraphs are joke-free except item 29. That silence is right; do not add jokes there in revision.
- *Mechanism variety:* deflation/self-betrayal x4 (items 8, 12, 16, 20), quantified-avoidance deadpan x4 (2, 9, 11, plus the shelf math), reclassification/definition x3 (4, 10, 27), situation specificity x2 (15, 24), paradox x2 (18, 25), reversal x2 (14, 26), physical x1, adjudication x1, button x1. Varied; not MONOTONOUS — but quantified-avoidance is the dominant device and should not carry Ch16.
- *Source:* 27 of 29 character/situation; item 3 is the only overlay-leaning beat. The LLM default is nearly absent — verified, not assumed.
- *Sweetness:* checked every joke inside the call against the "offer must stay serious" requirement. Nia's humor ("For two days," item 22) refuses June's deflections rather than cushioning them; "Eat lunch after" sharpens the clock by making it ordinary. Not OVERSWEETENED.
- *Cringe:* none; nothing performs for a generic workshop over this reader.
- *Inherited Ch14 risks:* no paired echo confirmations except the single "ruled counts"/"The coat counts" echo (logged below, at the ceiling Ch14 set); no prepared Theo persuasion speech (he is two texts); no Odile aphorism (absent); the logistics comedy here is solitary procedure-as-avoidance, which the chapter card explicitly sanctions ("her preparation should look like work"), not Ch13/14 event-logistics inheritance.
- *Nia/Asha as devices:* both generate their own comedy from their own lives (Marco's screwdriver, Dario's torque, the terrible room). Neither is reduced to a setup machine. Passed.

**Chapter verdict: CLEAR** — majority funniness-2, overwhelmingly character/situation-sourced, mechanisms varied, comedy absent exactly where temptation needs silence. Strongest item: #16, `"Either way it's an afternoon." June heard herself and stopped. "Hypothetically."` — the whole chapter's trap executed as a comic beat. Weakest surviving item: #28, `"in case the rest of the answer came from the same pen. It didn't come."` — closer to ache than laugh; survives on placement.

Three blocking findings stand under the blocking rule and must be repaired before commit:

`REVISION ORDERS:`

1. **Item 3 — "The kitchen table was the kitchen table." (line 5).** Funniness-1, portable, narrator-overlay. The survey's mechanism is measurement (eight inches vs. ten and a half; twelve at the widest corner); this beat abandons the mechanism for a portable tautology. Either cut it and let the survey run shelf → dresser, or re-source it into June's measurement voice (June Park card: visual/measurement precision) — the true joke available is that the table is the only surface with a pending job, since the call station claims it four paragraphs later. Do not keep the tautology.
2. **Item 14 — "which it did when nothing else was" (line 29).** New instance of the evaluative ", which" caption family, at cap since Ch11 (tracker: repaired to zero Ch11, lone survivor Ch13, "Ch14 should add zero"). De-workshop the syntax, keep the joke: break into two sentences ("Her handwriting had gotten neat. It did that when nothing else was."), or relocate the observation into the line-43 margin beat. Add no ", which" caption anywhere in the chapter.
3. **Item 17 — "I've heard it. People say it near me." (line 39).** Portable, workshopped, funniness-1: a detachable freelancer zinger with a floating referent ("it" = W-2? benefits?), and the chapter already owns the anchored version of this exact joke in Asha's "Invoice Jan, see it in Mar." Replace with a response built from June's specific ledger life (Ch09 material: invoices, net-45, the Wednesday invoice at line 13) with the referent named — or cut to plain speech under her card's allowed-plainness clause. Keep it compact; do not soften it into politeness.

**Tracker notes (non-blocking, for `output/tics.md`):**
- Neat-handwriting running gag: 4 in-chapter instances (lines 29, 43, 61, 111), each varied (definition → margin math → deadline-filed-as-maintenance → label-draft lettering). At ceiling; no Ch16 inheritance.
- Quantified-avoidance deadpan ~4 instances; dominant chapter mechanism, thematically licensed by the written deadline, but Ch16 must not default to it.
- "ruled" (Theo, line 101): single legal-clerical dialogue instance of a register ordered spent in Ch07/Ch08. Native to Theo's voice, below revival threshold at count 1; zero further this chapter and no narration adoption.
- "The coat counts" echoing "I ruled counts": one echo-confirmation, at the ceiling Ch14 marked for this family.
- "Coats are people who left their position marked" is June's one maxim-grade line this chapter and is now logged in-world in Theo's label notes — a live artifact for the Ch27 artifact-borne disclosure. Protect it; do not re-quote or paraphrase it before payoff.
- "excuse itself" (line 115): object-as-agent count 1, adjacent to the capped personification families (Ch08 folder/panel at zero-until-rupture, scarf-as-agent spent). Allowed as reflexive projection; no second object-as-agent beat before rupture.
- "I'll spare you the rent math" (Nia, line 41) brushes Priya/Ben's owned rule phrase "Rent math is not a proposal" (Ch06/Ch11). Not a joke-shape collision, but the noun is planted couple-vocabulary; swap to "the rent against it" or similar if the line is touched in repair, watch otherwise.

CLEAR
