# Audit: Comedy Doctor — Chapter 18 (Returned Scarf)

id: comedy_doctor | owner: claude | tier: risk
chapter: 18 (`output/chapters/chapter_18.md`) | register commitment: warm, precise, lightly comic (READING_GUIDE §2) — rupture-aftermath chapter, grief calibration in force

INVENTORY:

1 — "with the wool soap she still had from sweaters she no longer owned" (L3) — mechanism: melancholy incongruity (supplies outliving the life) — source: narrator-overlay (free-indirect, but the antithesis is composed, not perceived) — funniness: 1 — portable: yes (the "still had X from a Y she no longer owned" template fits any downsizing novel; only the wool soap itself is plot-bearing, via Mara's "Wool soap?" at L63) — dramatic work: June's pared-down life — workshopped: leaning yes (symmetrical had/no-longer-owned syntax)

2 — "stood on the roll with bare feet because that was how her mother had done it and it worked" (L3) — mechanism: inherited-procedure deadpan — source: character (care rendered as craft, mother lineage) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (welded to the full cold-water/no-wringing/towel-roll procedure) — dramatic work: the scarf return done as devotion, which Mara reads correctly at L63–67 — workshopped: no — **echo hazard:** "and it worked" verbatim pre-spends Mara's L57 punch "*and it worked*"; also brushes the Ch14 "It held"/"It worked" paired-echo family marked at ceiling in the tracker

3 — "black again instead of black with six weeks of the city on it" (L3) — mechanism: painter-precision distinction (two blacks) — source: character (June's optical exactness) — funniness: 2 — portable: no ("six weeks" is the Tuesdays count; the residue washed out is the relationship's) — dramatic work: the loan's duration made material — workshopped: no

4 — "one open box of kitchen things she kept taking the colander back out of" + "She took the colander out of the box again and left it in the dish rack." (L5) — mechanism: repetition-with-variation (the relapse) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the half-packed-since-September apartment is June's exit reflex from Ch01) — dramatic work: the stay/leave decision visible as an object she can't keep packed — workshopped: no (round 5 order 1 verified executed: the "honest about being used" personification tag is gone; the joke is now purely physical)

5 — "She had been eating around them since Tuesday night, the gray spines squared up against the wall." + "spine up so they wouldn't warp" + "slid it under the table where she wouldn't have to see gray while she ate" (L7–9) — mechanism: deadpan avoidance choreography (careful handling of the objects that hurt her) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (gray spines, colophon, eight dollars media mail, Greenpoint Avenue) — dramatic work: grievance processed as logistics; arms the L99 post-office resolve — workshopped: no

6 — "Sam had written *crooked is dynamic* and Ruth had written *it's crooked.*" (L9) — mechanism: deflation-by-literalism — source: character (Sam's reframe, Ruth's copyeditor flatness — plain-dry, not her capped editorial-sharp line) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the photo-proving-it and the kiss-flyer payload weld it) — dramatic work: the cohort continuing without June — workshopped: no

7 — "Forty of those existed. Some were now in laundromats." (L9) — mechanism: deadpan enumeration / flat escalation — source: character (June counting her exposure) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the cover kiss, the borrowed scarf at her throat) — dramatic work: the kiss proliferating publicly while she hides — workshopped: no

8 — "Luis cooked for eleven and we are four." (L11) — mechanism: deadpan arithmetic — source: character (Mara hosting; factual Luis reference, not the retired "Luis says" translation tic) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the invitation June must lie to refuse — workshopped: no

9 — "*Can't — working,* June typed. It would even be true if she started a painting before Friday." (L13) — mechanism: truth-condition deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: names the avoidance and arms Friday's "working girl" sting — workshopped: no (round 5 order 6 verified executed: the `, which` caption shape is gone; family stays closed — L21's "Thanksgiving, which she had forgotten" was checked and is informational, not evaluative)

10 — "Mara sent back a turkey and a heart and asked nothing else, and that was the part that cost." (L13) — mechanism: incongruity (emoji as tact) with hard turn — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: grace as the expensive thing; sharpens, doesn't soothe — workshopped: no

11 — "She plugged the phone in by the stove, in the kitchen, where it charged badly, and went to bed." (L17) — mechanism: deadpan self-quarantine (the triple locative pushing the phone away from the bed) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (judged: charging a phone far away is a common move, but "where it charged badly" is this apartment's known fact and makes the choice visibly punitive) — dramatic work: refusing to sleep next to Theo's three words without answering them — workshopped: no

12 — "a man balancing a foil pan on both palms so it would not crease" (L21) — mechanism: deadpan observational specificity — source: situation (the holiday June forgot, seen with her handling-and-weight eye) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (checked against postcard-NYC ban: one handling detail, not montage; plants the carrying-care image paid at L71/L77/L85) — dramatic work: isolation made visible; setup for "Don't tilt it" — workshopped: no

13 — "her storage unit; her nail holes" (L29) — mechanism: bathos (an unquantifiable tether listed in an asset column) — source: character (June's two-column honesty admitting the irrational entry) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the nail holes are chapter spine, paid at L99) — dramatic work: confesses the New York column's real weight is not arithmetic — workshopped: no

14 — "It was a true question and a competent one, and sending it tonight would have nothing to do with ceiling height." (L31) — mechanism: ironic denial (the negation states the truth) — source: character (June catching her own flare-send impulse; confirmed by drafts) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (fabrication bay, ceiling height — her install practice) — dramatic work: the flight reflex caught in the act; keeps Tasker clean of Theo — workshopped: no (round 5 order 4 verified executed: "this particular night," cut; the self-catch now lands unassisted)

15 — "*also dana says the radiator works if you kick the valve. bring a sweater if you go see it.*" (L35) — mechanism: honest-lead deadpan (the "works" immediately undercut by the sweater) — source: character (Asha's no-mystique room/rate shorthand, voice-card exact) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Dana's Ridgewood room, established Ch09/15) — dramatic work: the New York path real and unglamorous; cohort warmth at distance — this fills the solo-stretch room round 5 named — workshopped: no

16 — "*We saved you a plate, working girl,* Mara wrote, and June heated soup from a can. ... She'd told a lie to avoid a dinner so she could paint a room she was also avoiding. Then she rinsed the bowl." (L43) — mechanism: ironic juxtaposition + deadpan deflation — source: situation + character (June's licensed perception–judgment–self-rebuke rhythm, grounded by the bowl) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the avoidance spiral named with its cost — workshopped: no

17 — "June had taken it because refusing would have taken longer than wearing it." (L49) — mechanism: avoidance arithmetic deadpan — source: character (June's exit-speed math meeting Mara's stratagem) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (judged: the logic-shape could travel, but it is the receiving end of Mara's "I brought two" con, confessed at L57) — dramatic work: why the loan happened at all — workshopped: no

18 — "In that angle, leaving was literal: the last look got only a slice, and the frame took the rest." (L41) — mechanism: literalization caption — source: narrator-overlay (the optical clause is June's craft; the "leaving was literal:" pivot is a composed caption no one in the scene is generating — the calibration's named hazard, overlay wit around the studies) — funniness: 1 — portable: yes (the pivot could caption any departure-themed artwork in any art novel; only the foreshortening description is this-book) — dramatic work: restates what the cropped-table description has already shown — workshopped: yes (colon-pivot aphorism syntax)

19 — "*Keep it!! I have two. That was the plan.*" / "*You told me that so I'd take it.*" / "*and it worked. ok. sonia's tomorrow at 10, I'm rescuing my pie dishes.*" (L53–57) — mechanism: stratagem confessed (Mara cheerfully deflating her own cover story; "rescuing" as character verb) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (pays the Ch03 plant "take the scarf, I brought two" with exact variation) — dramatic work: converts the loan into named care and forces the Sunday meeting — workshopped: no

20 — "her free hand already out, palm up, resigned to it" (L61) — mechanism: role-reversal deadpan setup (the giver resigned to receiving) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Mara has already lost the keep-it argument and knows it — workshopped: no

21 — "You really washed it. ... Wool soap?" / "And dried flat." / "Better than I treat it." (L63–67) — mechanism: role-reversal deadpan (the borrower out-cares the owner) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: June's love language legible to Mara, who answers it with "Are you eating?" — workshopped: no

22 — "Are you eating?" / "I'm painting." (L67–69) — mechanism: deflective substitution, visible as deflection — source: character (a body question answered with a vocation answer is June's wound; Mara hears it and responds with food — followable as text) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: triggers the pie — workshopped: no

23 — "Luis made too much. There's pie under the turkey. Don't tilt it." + "It's a dish I want back, so it's not even generous. It's a hostage exchange." + June holding the foil brick level while refusing Tuesday (L71–77) — mechanism: generosity-denial reframe + care-as-logistics imperative + action-undercuts-speech — source: character (Mara denying her own generosity so June can accept food that isn't charity) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (calibration item, ruled: the quip in isolation could port, but it is motivated by the literally rescued pie dishes in the tote, names the chapter's object-as-tether economy, and is cashed at L85 and L99; tracker confirms first "hostage" use in the book) — dramatic work: re-tethers June to Tuesday via an owed dish — workshopped: no (speakable, scene-generated)

24 — "Sit by me Tuesday. Ruth has opinions about wall spacing and I need another painter at the table." (L75) — mechanism: specificity understatement + recruitment-by-category — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: a non-pity reason to come back; Ruth character-true offstage — workshopped: no

25 — "Thank you for October." / "October. It's almost December. I'm glad you came." (L81–83) — mechanism: literal-calendar deflation — source: character (Mara refusing June's elegy register, then going plainly sincere) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: rejects the closure June is performing — workshopped: no

26 — flyer in Sonia's window "low, by the register, crooked" + "the foil level the whole time like she'd been told" (L85) — mechanism: double repetition-payoff — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: "crooked" pays item 6 (the cohort is everywhere June walks); the obeyed instruction is care accepted without saying so — workshopped: no

27 — "one return down, one acquired" (L99) — mechanism: bookkeeping deadpan / structural payoff — source: character (June's sorting mind tallying real objects) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: proves the hostage exchange worked — the book refusing June a zero-attachment exit — workshopped: no

**Calibration items, ruled or verified absent:**
- `hostage exchange` — present, ruled item 23: lands, character-sourced, non-portable, not blocking.
- `sleeping in shifts` — absent from current text (search verified; survives only in `output/drafts/claude/chapter_18.round_01.md`). Replaced by "Are you eating?" (item 22), which is stronger and plainer.
- `zero did not last` — absent (search verified). "one return down, one acquired" (item 27) is the grounded survivor of the idea; the portable ledger epigram stayed cut.
- `commits to the bridge` — absent (search verified). Current exit line is "Luis is circling the block; I should go." — plain, no overlay.
- Thanksgiving/foil-pan — present, ruled item 12: situation-sourced, plants a paid image chain, not blocking.
- Narrator-overlay wit around Tasker/the studies — round 5 order 5 verified executed: "The chair did nothing. It was wood at an angle, viewed from the door." now ends there; the "problem the viewer had brought with them" clause is gone, and what remains enacts restraint rather than quoting it. The Tasker ledger paragraphs (L27–31, L95–97) carry no overlay wit; "ratify"/"the whole ledger" is a single legal-register touch grounded in the literal two-column notebook — watch, not block. The one surviving overlay item around the studies is item 18, blocked below. Round 5 orders 2 and 3 also verified executed ("a wrong first pass"/"underlayer" at L5; gouache-from-the-sink objects at L23).

**Distribution checks.** Density: 27 items, 25 at funniness-2 — and the solo Thanksgiving-through-Saturday stretch that round 5 measured thin (3 items, 2 partial) now carries items 12–17, only one of them partial; the grief-calibration question is moot because the density no longer needs the excuse, and the comedy still maps to contact: every Mara-adjacent beat is where the register warms, exactly as the book's people-sourced commitment predicts. Mechanism variety: deflation/literalism ×3 (6, 25, inside 19), repetition-payoff ×3 (4, 12→26, 23→27), deadpan arithmetic/bookkeeping ×2 (8, 27), irony ×2 (14, 16), bathos (13), stratagem-confession (19), role-reversal ×2 (20–21), deflective substitution (22), reframe (23), avoidance choreography ×2 (5, 11) — not MONOTONOUS. Sweetness: Theo's "Okay. No chair." gets no cushion; the five studies stay dry; items 10 and 16 convert comedy into cost; the pie is care with its generosity explicitly denied — not OVERSWEETENED. Cringe: none. Tracker residue: zero new "the way" connectives (L49 "in a way she had not yet known how to see" checked — not the recognitional shape); no keys, no "stop coming," no stranger cluster, no scarf or secret-object personification (scarf handled literally throughout); Odile absent; chair-count comedy not revived ("No chair." is Theo's wound, not a count joke); light images are painting-content (L23, L89), literal craft, watch only. One internal echo found: "and it worked" appears at L3 (narration) and L57 (Mara's punch) — see order 3.

VERDICT: **CLEAR**

Comedy lands in register: 25 of 27 at funniness-2, sources overwhelmingly character (20) and situation (3), with only items 1 and 18 surviving as overlay — both blocked below. Mechanisms varied; non-portability holds everywhere the score is 2. Strongest item: the scarf volley (item 19) — "*Keep it!! I have two. That was the plan.*" / "*You told me that so I'd take it.*" / "*and it worked.*" — a six-week-old plant paid in character voice with the con confessed. Weakest surviving item: the phone by the stove (item 11) — "She plugged the phone in by the stove, in the kitchen, where it charged badly" — quiet, but it earns its place because the bad outlet is the point.

REVISION ORDERS:

1. **Item 1 — funniness-1, portable, workshopped-leaning.** Quote: "with the wool soap she still had from sweaters she no longer owned." The had/no-longer-owned antithesis is a stock melancholy template any downsizing novel could run; the wool soap must survive (Mara names it at L63), the clause needn't. Either cut to "with the wool soap from the back of the cabinet" or re-source the provenance into this book's inventory — the storage unit already on her ledger at L29 (e.g., soap that stayed when the sweaters went into storage). Do not replace it with a different composed antithesis.

2. **Item 18 — funniness-1, narrator-overlay, portable, workshopped; the calibration's named hazard.** Quote: "In that angle, leaving was literal: the last look got only a slice, and the frame took the rest." Cut the caption pivot "leaving was literal:" and keep the optics: "In that angle, the last look got only a slice, and the frame took the rest." The foreshortening description is June's craft and carries the meaning; the colon-pivot is a quotation-shaped caption that could hang under any departure-themed artwork in any art novel.

3. **Item 2 / item 19 — echo protection (verdict-level timing problem, joke at L57 stays untouched).** Quote: L3 "because that was how her mother had done it and it worked" vs. L57 Mara's "*and it worked.*" The narration spends Mara's exact punch phrase 54 lines early, and the Ch14 "It held"/"It worked" paired-echo family is already marked at ceiling in the tracker. Cut "and it worked" from L3 — the procedure's success is proven on the page by "dried flat" and "Better than I treat it" — so the phrase detonates once, in Mara's mouth, where it's funny.
