# Comedy Doctor — Chapter 04 — Round 2 (Repair Verification)

id: comedy_doctor | owner: claude | tier: risk | round: 2 of N
chapter: output/chapters/chapter_04.md ("The Edited Version", POV Theo)
prior: output/critiques/claude/chapter_04.comedy_doctor_round1.md (verdict CLEAR with three blocking orders)
register: reading guide §2 — warm, precise, lightly comic; observational and character-true; never sitcom rhythm; Emily Henry at ~60% banter density; target reader calibrated to the Beth O'Leary / Morisaki-quiet comp band.

Stance: skeptical professional editor. This round verifies the three round-1 blocking orders against the current text and re-runs the full inventory to confirm no repair introduced a new defect. No new joke requests are invented; blockers below would exist only if the chapter still violated the comedy-register criteria or a repair created a problem.

## Repair verification (the three round-1 orders)

**Order 1 — portable corkboard detail ("a flyer for a lost parakeet," l. 5): RESOLVED.**
Current text: "parked under a corkboard by the register between a pysanky-workshop flyer, a block-association notice, and a stack of booster seats." The repair uses exactly the world material the order named; pysanky binds the corner to Sonia's-as-Ukrainian (premise: Second Avenue, Veselka-adjacent), and the round-1 warning against substituting equivalent whimsy (lost cat, quirky band flyer) was honored — the replacement is texture, not a swapped bird. The detail no longer presents as a joke and now does smallness-test work instead. Non-blocking line note for the editor stage, not a comedy defect: the single "between … and a stack of booster seats" series flattens corkboard items and floor objects into one preposition; a copyedit could split them, but the item is non-portable and unworkshopped as it stands.

**Order 2 — redundant "Because it beat sitting still" gloss (l. 97): RESOLVED.**
Current text: "Theo pulled a napkin over and drew it with the newly famous pencil: doorway, north wall, an X where the label hung." The clause is cut clean; "the newly famous pencil" carries the beat unaided, as the order predicted. Displacement-gloss count for the chapter now stands at two — "carrying things was his best method of standing still" (l. 11) and "what his hands did at receptions when nothing real could be fixed" (l. 49) — both round-1 funniness-2 survivors. The forward rule (glosses capped at one per chapter from ch05 on; displacement actions uncapped) remains in force for future chapters.

**Order 3 — stock "fries arrived and ran interference" (l. 117): RESOLVED.**
Current text: "Dee set down two baskets of fries. Hands crossed the paper placemats for salt and napkins, and the table broke into side conversations the way eight people do, Ben and Sam on neighborhoods, Mara and Priya on whether Odile would really make them work in ink by November." The sports personification is gone; the rescue beat is now concrete and named — the spotlight visibly leaves June and Theo via two specific, book-bound side conversations — and it does dramatic work, covering Theo's postponed arithmetic. Non-portable (ink-by-November is this class; neighborhoods is this cohort).

No collateral damage found at any of the three repair sites: surrounding items (the napkin diagram duet, the post-fries interiority run) read intact against the round-1 stream's quoted pre-repair text.

## INVENTORY

1 — "The corner booth at Sonia's sat six, and they were eight." (l. 3) — mechanism: deadpan arithmetic setup — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: establishes the seating trap the chapter runs on — workshopped: no
2 — "the way he counted heads at an opening before deciding whether to bring up more glasses" (l. 3) — mechanism: professional deformation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: host-brain that cannot be switched off, the chapter's engine — workshopped: no
3 — "the couple by the window had reached the stage of pie" (l. 5) — mechanism: deadpan service-brain taxonomy — source: character (Theo focalization) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: room-reading; sets the lucky-empty-room condition — workshopped: no
4 — "eight people coming off two hours of charcoal did not arrive at a volume you could seat discreetly" (l. 5) — mechanism: understatement + specificity — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: binds diner to studio — workshopped: no
5 — "The corner, if that's legal, plus those two chairs. I'll put them back myself." (l. 7) — mechanism: mock-bureaucratic hedge — source: character (Sam) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Sam's chair stewardship, paid off l. 153 — workshopped: no
6 — "'You'd better,' Dee said, and went for waters." (l. 9) — mechanism: deadpan proprietor authority — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Sonia's has house rules; commons texture — workshopped: no
7 — "So Sam did rooms too." (l. 11) — mechanism: recognition deflation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Theo meets a peer competence — workshopped: no
8 — "carrying things was his best method of standing still" (l. 11) — mechanism: paradox self-knowledge — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: displacement gloss 1 of 2 — workshopped: no
9 — "Sit here. Not symbolically. The chair's better for your back than that bench." (l. 13) — mechanism: pre-emptive symbol deflation — source: character (Sam, card-owned line shape) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Ruth/Sam texture — workshopped: no
10 — "looked at what remained of the seating once, all of it" (l. 13) — mechanism: negative-space precision — source: character (Ruth) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: opens the Ruth-watch — workshopped: no
11 — the booth fills by couple; "standing six people up and reshuffling them … would have announced more than it fixed" (l. 13–17) — mechanism: structural comedy / social physics — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: adjacency without contrivance; the room seats the host — workshopped: no
12 — "apparently the unit had followed them two blocks east" (l. 17) — mechanism: escalation of the counts-and-stacks unit — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the lie deepens by reflex; reread material (Odile's pairing) — workshopped: no
13 — "He had the coat on the booth hook before he caught his own hands doing it." (l. 17) — mechanism: autopilot reveal — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: body ahead of cover story — workshopped: no
14 — "She'd been watching the no discussion." (l. 19) — mechanism: precision reversal — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: names what Ruth actually clocks — workshopped: no
15 — "Dee dealt five menus for eight people, which sorted the table into pairs faster than the class had." (l. 21) — mechanism: deadpan structural echo — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: pairs motif compressed into furniture — workshopped: no
16 — straw wrapper folded into eighths; "Front left." / "Front left," Theo agreed. (l. 21–25) — mechanism: competence duet deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: opens the Luis–Theo recognition channel — workshopped: no
17 — "Looser roll. Charcoal cracks." (l. 27) — mechanism: expert terseness — source: character (Luis) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: care through placement — workshopped: no
18 — rubber bands kept "in a drawer with the birthday candles" (l. 29) — mechanism: world-specificity — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Sonia's interior truth; smallness-test material — workshopped: no
19 — "The 11:42. Once." / "Twice," Priya said. (l. 31–33) — mechanism: correction-as-punchline — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Ben's planning tic plus Priya's audit — workshopped: no
20 — "this place is dangerously convenient, and I've done the math on it becoming a habit" (l. 35) — mechanism: self-aware over-planning — source: character (Ben, card-true) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: seeds Sonia's-as-commons — workshopped: no
21 — "Luis says the fries are the reason to come back. He'll say it himself by week four." (l. 37) — mechanism: translation gag with built-in deadline — source: character (Mara card tic) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Mara/Luis arc clock — workshopped: no
22 — "Grilled cheese. It comes with soup and it's two meals." (l. 43) — mechanism: practical-care logic — source: character (Priya) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: feeds June by optimization; sets the takeout half — workshopped: no
23 — "Half goes home with me." / "Separate check for mine." (l. 45) — mechanism: terms-setting dryness — source: character (June) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: June's not-owing made audible; Ruth reads it later — workshopped: no
24 — "at the gallery those were the same hand. He turned it into passing the creamers down." (l. 47) — mechanism: aborted-gesture deflation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: comp reflex meets June's terms — workshopped: no
25 — all eight mug handles turned out, "what his hands did at receptions when nothing real could be fixed" (l. 49) — mechanism: displacement ritual — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: gloss 2 of 2; feeds Ruth's file — workshopped: no
26 — "You can stop working. It's after nine." / "Habit," Theo said. It was. Tonight it had a motor in it. (l. 51–53) — mechanism: observed-tic deflation + flat aside — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: names the motor without naming the feeling — workshopped: no
27 — chin "at an angle that announced an agenda"; "don't give me the edited version. People always edit the first one." (l. 55) — mechanism: set-piece bell; title drop — source: character (Mara, card-anchored) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: launches the interrogation engine — workshopped: no
28 — "There were three versions." (l. 57) — mechanism: enumerative dramatic irony — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: stakes ladder under the set piece — workshopped: no
29 — "That's three words. I have fries coming. Expand." (l. 61) — mechanism: deflation + comic deadline — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: forces the improv against a clock — workshopped: no
30 — "At openings there are shoulders in front of everything. Wine in the corners. People reading labels with one eye on the door." (l. 65) — mechanism: painter-eye specificity overload — source: character (June) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: truth-as-cover; her Thursday habit surfaces — workshopped: no
31 — "heard it as it left him: a pattern, confirmed, by the man with no cover for knowing it" (l. 67) — mechanism: self-incrimination timing — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: danger and comedy fused — workshopped: no
32 — "He knows her schedule," Mara reported to Luis. / "He knows the gallery's schedule. I was a recurring item on it." (l. 69–71) — mechanism: accusation-and-reframe volley — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: June converts evidence into inventory idiom — workshopped: no
33 — simultaneous start, both stop; "figuring her version would be shorter. It was not shorter." (l. 73) — mechanism: timing collision + flat reversal — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the improv duet finds its feet — workshopped: no
34 — "One label. Out of, what, forty?" / "Forty-three." (l. 75–77) — mechanism: correction-as-punchline; precision tell — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: his exactness is the confession — workshopped: no
35 — "deciding whether to be the person who tells a stranger his label's wrong." / "She was that person." (l. 79–81) — mechanism: deadpan confirmation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: origin story lands its punch — workshopped: no
36 — fixed the label "where it hung. Didn't even take it off the wall." (l. 83) — mechanism: escalating anecdote detail — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the pencil legend assembles — workshopped: no
37 — "'It was a soft pencil,' Theo said, which defended nothing and wasn't asked to." (l. 85) — mechanism: non-sequitur defense — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: flailing under the table's delight — workshopped: no
38 — pocket fumble, grayed fingers, the 4B with "tooth marks at the end from a decade of him"; "Oh, that's good. You can't make that up." / "You couldn't. That was the whole trouble with it." (l. 87–89) — mechanism: prop comedy pivoting to dramatic irony — source: character + situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: chapter thesis — the better the bit lands, the more canonical the lie — workshopped: no
39 — "Which wall?" … "Eye height?" / "Fifty-seven, center. Like everything in the building." + napkin diagram, rotated and returned, "Good room." (l. 91–99) — mechanism: professional-deformation duet — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: plants the napkin Ruth pockets at l. 151 — workshopped: no [repair site 2: gloss removed, beat reads unaided]
40 — "It reopened." / "Briefly," June said. / "Line eight. The last blank line, somehow." / "Park and Brennan. One line, two names." (l. 101–109) — mechanism: hedged-truth relay; the "somehow" carrying dread — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: reread material (Odile's plant) — workshopped: no
41 — "That's better than how Luis and I met." / "It isn't," Luis said. / "It isn't," Mara agreed. "But it's close." (l. 111–115) — mechanism: deflation + concession rhythm — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: cohort applause is the trap closing — workshopped: no
42 — fries land; hands cross for salt; Ben and Sam on neighborhoods, Mara and Priya on ink by November (l. 117) — mechanism: crowd-release texture — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: spotlight visibly leaves the couple; covers Theo's arithmetic — workshopped: no [repair site 3]
43 — "She had lied the way a good hang lies, by deciding what goes on the wall and what stays in the rack" (l. 119) — mechanism: craft-metaphor wit — source: character (gallery idiom) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: thesis stated in Theo's professional language — workshopped: no
44 — "Ruth had eaten exactly half her pie." / "When the pencil came out, she didn't look at the pencil at all." (l. 121) — mechanism: negative-space observation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Ruth-watch escalation — workshopped: no
45 — "The slot. Is it comped?" → "No," then the inventory spill and the ledger offer / "I didn't ask what she owed," Ruth said. (l. 125–129) — mechanism: over-answer cringe + scalpel question — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the clocker beat; his precision incriminates again; Ruth's one editorial-sharp line, within her per-appearance cap of one — workshopped: no
46 — sugar caddy set down: "Pie first, Ruthie." / "I'm having pie," Ruth said, and had it. (l. 133–135) — mechanism: deflection refused via literal compliance — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: softens Sam, not Ruth; she exits armed — workshopped: no
47 — "she was keeping it the way she kept everything else at that table: squared" (l. 137) — mechanism: callback (napkin corners) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the second question promised — workshopped: no
48 — fries check "in hand before it touched the table. Nobody fought him for it." + June "counted the tip to the quarter" (l. 139) — mechanism: micro-behavior comedy — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: terms held on both sides — workshopped: no
49 — "Keep it through Tuesday … I want the studio version back." / "Then give me the version with bad fluorescent light." / "I know the terms." (l. 141–149) — mechanism: bit-logic escalation on a lent object — source: character (Mara) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: S-SCARF-01 obligation renewed toward ch 18 — workshopped: no
50 — "come back on a weeknight, when the pie turned over faster" (l. 153) — mechanism: proprietor deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: commons invitation — workshopped: no
51 — "About Odile," -> "Quarter to seven next Tuesday" is what came out. / "You're still at work. We're not at the gallery." + "He didn't argue with the label. It was accurate, and she had a record of catching the wrong ones." (l. 157-163) — mechanism: failed-confession deflation + label callback — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the chapter card's Decision-to-delay rendered at visible cost; the sharp exit is kept sharp — workshopped: no
52 — receipt-back canon list "in the pencil that was public property now": "Thursdays. 43 labels, one flipped. The pencil. Line eight." + the charcoal smudge folded in and filed with the stub (l. 165–169) — mechanism: callback compression / deadpan archive — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the lie becomes a maintained document; pays off the set piece and arms ch 17+ — workshopped: no

## Distribution checks

- **Density:** 52 items across ~3,000 words of ensemble diner chapter — at the top of the register's "lightly comic" band but carried by behavior and structure, not quips; banter density sits inside the Emily-Henry-at-60% calibration because characters repeatedly answer sincerely (items 23, 34, 45, 51). PASS.
- **Mechanism variety:** deadpan, deflation, escalation, professional deformation, prop comedy, negative space, timing collision, callback, understatement, specificity overload, cringe — no single mechanism dominates. Correction-as-punchline stands at ~7 instances (items 19, 32, 34, 40, 41, 45, plus June's opening correction at l. 65), unchanged by the repairs: it remains the round-1 WATCH for ch 05+, not a ch 04 blocker. PASS with standing watch.
- **Sweetness:** the two beats the book wants sharp stay sharp — "I didn't ask what she owed" goes unanswered and Ruth leaves armed (items 45–47); June's register-side exit leaves Theo corrected and alone (item 51). Sam's "Pie first, Ruthie" was re-checked as the oversweetening counter-candidate and clears on Ruth's literal-compliance reply. PASS.
- **Cringe:** none; nothing misjudges the target reader. Item 45's cringe is in-fiction (Theo's, earned), not the book's. PASS.

Counter-candidates examined for the pass verdict (showing work, per stance): the strongest narrator-overlay candidate remains "reached the stage of pie" (item 3), which survives on Theo's service-brain focalization — unchanged from round 1, still the weakest surviving item. The strongest workshopped candidate is the Mara/Luis "It isn't / It isn't, but it's close" symmetry (item 41), which survives because both halves are card-true line shapes (Luis's one-sentence bluntness, Mara's concession habit) and the symmetry is the couple's rhythm, not punchline syntax. The strongest portability candidate post-repair is Sam's "if that's legal" (item 5), which survives because it is welded to Sam's chair-stewardship care move and its l. 153 payoff. Cross-lane note, resolved after this audit: June's pre-repair "That's the gallery voice" brushed the reading guide's dialogue-diagnosis rule and was changed to "You're still at work," which keeps the action/relationship beat without the diagnostic label.

## Chapter verdict

**CLEAR** — comedy lands in register: 52/52 items at funniness-2, all character- or situation-sourced (zero narrator-overlay survivors), zero portable, zero workshopped, mechanisms varied. All three round-1 blocking orders are verified resolved with no new defects introduced.

- Strongest item: **"One label. Out of, what, forty?" / "Forty-three."** (item 34) — the precision tell that makes Theo's exactness the confession.
- Weakest surviving item: **"the couple by the window had reached the stage of pie"** (item 3) — passes on focalization; still the closest thing to narrator wit hovering above the table.

## REVISION ORDERS

None. No blocking findings stand.

## Tracker actions

- New row: the 4B pencil is now a public relic ("public property," l. 165) with a written canon list; it must never again be produced for show — next on-page appearance should cost something or reveal something.
- Watch row: correction-as-punchline at ~7 instances in ch 04; from ch 05 on, target roughly half before the mechanism reads as the book's only joke.
- Standing rule from round 1: Theo displacement-action glosses capped at one per chapter from ch 05 (actions themselves uncapped).
