INVENTORY:

1 — "The tote strap quit on the third-floor landing. Not all at once—a single stitch... popping with a sound like a knuckle... chin clamped on the top spine" (line 3) — mechanism: physical comedy + deadpan understatement ("quit") — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no (nine ledger-logged catalogs are Ch14's specific consequence) — dramatic work: the loan enters her apartment as literal burden; opens in action per card — workshopped: no
2 — "This took four minutes to establish and involved every flat surface she owned." + the shelf/dresser depth survey (line 5) — mechanism: deadpan measurement / specificity overload — source: character (June's optical exactness) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (eight inches vs. ten and a half is catalog-specific) — dramatic work: the apartment is too small for what she's now holding — lease stakes without saying lease — workshopped: no
3 — "The kitchen table was the kitchen table." (line 5) — mechanism: tautology deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: borderline (the shape is stock; inside the measured survey it means "fully employed surface," which is hers) — dramatic work: completes the survey's escalation — workshopped: no. Weakest surviving item; flagged as counter-candidate, passed on context.
4 — "less like books and more like a deposit she was holding against her own behavior" (line 5) — mechanism: fiscal reframe — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Theo's ledger, returned column blank) — dramatic work: arms the paper-slip danger as self-directed threat — workshopped: no. Checked against the Ch02/Ch08 fiscal-figure tic watch: one figurative instance this chapter, under control.
5 — "She told herself that was about weight distribution." (line 7) — mechanism: self-deception deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: protects S-CATALOG-01 while showing June actively not-reading it — workshopped: no
6 — "she made the call station, because she had run out of furniture to rearrange" (line 9) — mechanism: bathos / self-aware avoidance — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: preparation-as-fear shown, not thesis'd — workshopped: no
7 — "because eleven percent was not a number you negotiated employment on" (line 9) — mechanism: deadpan negative-definition maxim — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: **yes** (a phone-battery joke any contemporary novel could run unchanged) — dramatic work: prep-as-control — workshopped: **yes** (maxim syntax, and the same negative-definition shape recurs at item 11; two composed instances of one syntax in one chapter) — BLOCKING
8 — "Pen that worked, established by scribble." (line 9) — mechanism: clipped procedural deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: plants the pen for the close (item 23) — workshopped: no
9 — "flattened and set to the left like a control group" (line 9) — mechanism: register collision (experimental-design vocabulary) — source: **narrator-overlay** — funniness: 1 — portable: **yes** — dramatic work: frames Asha's leads as the comparison set against the offer (the function is good; the figure isn't June's — her card runs on edge/value/ground/wash, not lab design) — workshopped: yes — BLOCKING
10 — "not because she was hiding it but because that was how the jacket landed, and if she moved it now she'd be admitting she'd noticed" (line 9) — mechanism: self-deception escalation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (umber cuff is the kept mark from Ch14) — dramatic work: desire tell, exactly per card — workshopped: no
11 — "she crossed out the last one because it was not a question you asked, it was a question you got answered by asking the others" (line 11) — mechanism: negative-definition wit — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the crossed-out *what happens if no*) — dramatic work: fear made procedural; the chapter's irresolution in one notebook action — workshopped: no, but syntax-sibling of item 7; only one of the pair should survive
12 — "It had been unopened for twenty-six hours." (line 11) — mechanism: deadpan precision — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: mineral spirits jar as kept-mark clock — workshopped: no
13 — "both of which were real, neither of which had taken until eight-forty" (line 13) — mechanism: parallel self-indictment — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (invoice, Marchetti Rooms) — dramatic work: two days of delay-guilt rendered without naming guilt — workshopped: no (the parallelism is her self-audit voice)
14 — "'I had a thing with panels.' / 'For two days.' / 'They were complicated panels.'" (lines 17–21) — mechanism: lame-excuse escalation, deflection visible as deflection — source: character + relationship (Nia's no-pity candor) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the avoidance the whole chapter is about, done in three speakable lines — workshopped: no
15 — "Or the other way around, depending on which grant we're answering to." (line 23) — mechanism: institutional dry truth — source: character (Nia) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: makes the offer grant-real, not brochure — workshopped: no
16 — gripper diagnosis: "Either way it's an afternoon." June heard herself and stopped. "Hypothetically." (line 35) — mechanism: competence-betrayal timing reversal — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Vandercook, Marco's screwdriver) — dramatic work: the chapter's entire trap — her reflex answers the job before she does — dramatized as a joke; nothing in the chapter works harder — workshopped: no. STRONGEST ITEM.
17 — "I've heard it. People say it near me." (benefits, line 39) — mechanism: deprivation hyperbole — source: character (freelancer wound; jokes-as-smoke-screen is her licensed pressure tell) — funniness: 2 — portable: considered as the chapter's most quotable line; passed because it sharpens rather than blunts the temptation and is anchored in her invoice/net-45 life — workshopped: no
18 — "'I can do math,' June agreed. She had already done it in the margin anyway" (line 43) — mechanism: agreement-undercut — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the offer's numbers already won; she knows it — workshopped: no
19 — "the high schoolers will find the problem as soon as it sticks" (line 65) — mechanism: situational truth — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the Tuesday walkthrough that springs the press-vs-wall realization — workshopped: no
20 — "Noon. Eat lunch after." (line 79) — mechanism: deadpan practicality — source: character (Nia's time-specifics tic) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: humanizes the deadline without softening it; checked against Odile's owned "Eat" imperatives ("Eat. Then decide to be tragic.") and ruled scheduling, not feeding-as-care — Nia must not get a second beat in this register — workshopped: no
21 — "Don't give it to Dario. He overtightens everything." / "He does. So that's a yes?" (lines 87–89) — mechanism: work-shorthand dodge, immediately clocked — source: character + relationship — funniness: 2 — portable: no (install-world torque judgment) — dramatic work: June's evasion made visible; Asha applies real slot pressure — neither is a device — workshopped: no
22 — "Mysterious. Fine." (line 93) — mechanism: attitude beat — source: character, nominally — funniness: 1 — portable: **yes** — dramatic work: NONE (pure cadence; the volley's information all lives in the Ridgewood terms that follow) — workshopped: yes (the one sitcom-rhythm flick in an otherwise information-bearing exchange) — BLOCKING
23 — "you'd love it, it's terrible" → June: "send pics of the terrible room" (lines 93–95) — mechanism: ironic recommendation + adoption — source: character + relationship — funniness: 2 — portable: no ($340, no heat after 10pm) — dramatic work: June investing in the New York path on the page — S-NY-01 advanced through a joke — workshopped: no
24 — "June, who had sworn off looking at it, looked at it." (line 99) — mechanism: self-betrayal deadpan — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: flyer/kiss pressure intrudes without relationship talk — workshopped: no
25 — "one occupied by a coat that I ruled counts" / "The coat counts. Coats are people who left their position marked." / "That's going in the label notes." (lines 101–105) — mechanism: mock-adjudication bit-building — source: character + relationship — funniness: 2 — portable: no (41 chairs, the Ch14 count promise, *After Class*) — dramatic work: their collaboration register survives the offer secrecy, and the coat line is the joint piece's thesis (absence as marked presence) in miniature — workshopped: no — June's line is composed, but Theo files it as label-draft language on the page, which licenses the polish diegetically; "ruled" is a single clerical-register word, under the spent-family cap
26 — "She handled it. She washed the two dishes." (line 107) — mechanism: bathos — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the scale of her container, against a job running a building — workshopped: no
27 — "facing them at the wall had been melodramatic and the slip was just paper" (line 107) — mechanism: self-correction reversal — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: pays items 5/the stack-turn; the avoidance family closes instead of repeating — workshopped: no
28 — "so it couldn't slide off, fold shut, or otherwise excuse itself" (line 115) — mechanism: projection-personification (her own exits pinned onto the receipt) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Marchetti receipt under the unopened jar) — dramatic work: the closing image is the verdict she can't write — workshopped: no; checked against the Ch08 secret-object personification freeze — different object family, and the projection is the psychology
29 — "in case the rest of the answer came from the same pen. It didn't come." (line 113) — mechanism: deadpan magical thinking — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: pays item 8; irresolution made physical, per the card's required close — workshopped: no

Distribution checks:
- **Density:** ~29 items across ~2,900 words in a reflective offer chapter — right for "quieter after kiss" with the comic register intact. Not DRY, not over-stuffed.
- **Mechanism variety:** deadpan precision ×5, self-deception/avoidance ×6, dialogue escalation ×4, bathos ×2, personification/projection ×3, register collision ×2, reversal ×3, hyperbole ×1. The self-deception family runs highest (items 5, 6, 10, 13, 24, 27) but escalates and then closes — item 27 reverses item 5 on the page. Not MONOTONOUS, but Ch16 must not inherit avoidance-deadpan as June's default interiority move; the family is spent.
- **Offer seriousness:** no joke discounts the terms. Nia's wit is practical and post-repair density holds (~5 polished lines across a long call, two of them voice-card canon). The benefits joke (item 17) and the gripper bit (item 16) make the temptation sharper, not softer. Nia and Asha both generate their own comedy and apply their own pressure; neither is a device.
- **Sweetness:** the deadline beats stay sharp — the chapter ends unanswered, pinned under the jar. Not OVERSWEETENED.
- **Cringe:** none; nothing misjudges the cozy-contemporary target reader (O'Leary warmth, Henry-at-60% banter, Morisaki quiet).
- **Inherited-tic sweep:** no Ch13/14 logistics-comedy inheritance (the coat-count is the *After Class* thread itself, card-permitted, one exchange, information-bearing); no paired echo confirmations; no prepared Theo persuasion speech; no Odile aphorism; dialogue-diagnosis sweep clean — "I can hear the pen" is action, not speech-captioning.

REVISION ORDERS:
1. Item 7 — "because eleven percent was not a number you negotiated employment on" (line 9): portable wit in workshopped maxim syntax, and the second instance of the negative-definition shape that item 11 uses better. Keep item 11 (it carries the crossed-out *what happens if no*); recast item 7 out of maxim form into June's plain measuring register — state the number and let the action carry it (e.g., the phone goes on the charger at eleven percent because the call could run long), or cut the justification clause entirely. Do not write a replacement maxim.
2. Item 9 — "set to the left like a control group" (line 9): narrator-overlay in a vocabulary June doesn't own. Re-source the comparison into her voice card's craft lexicon (edge, value, ground, swatch) or her install work from the Kessler/Ch09 inventory — e.g., the scrap set to the left like a known color beside one she was still mixing, or a snapped level line before a hang. The comparative function (Asha's leads as the reference the offer gets judged against) must survive the recasting.
3. Item 22 — "Mysterious. Fine." (line 93): funniness-1 sitcom attitude flick doing no work. Cut "Mysterious." and let "Fine. Also Dana says..." pivot directly — Asha's pressure reads through the schedule-pivot, which is her card; the editorializing beat is imported cadence.

Chapter verdict: the comedy is overwhelmingly character/situation-sourced (one narrator-overlay instance in 29), majority funniness-2, mechanisms varied, and the two best items — the gripper "Hypothetically" reversal (item 16) and the coat-count label bit (item 25) — are doing the chapter's actual dramatic work: the trap and the tether. Weakest surviving item: "The kitchen table was the kitchen table." (item 3), passed on the strength of the survey around it. The three blocking findings above are small-bore and must be executed before commit, but they do not move the chapter-level verdict.

CLEAR
