# Dialogue Doctor - Chapter 01 - Round: Reader-Directive Sweep (2026-07-24)

Scope: full cold re-read of the current text after three reader-directed passes: (1) dialogue rework (closing koan pair replaced with connected exchange), (2) sentence-tail zinger strip (narration buttons cut: "and been right to", "revised her estimate", "footnotes and all", "labels or the evening", "less true things"), (3) Odile warmth ("So was everyone I have ever taught. Come anyway."). Style bible now bans narration tail-buttons and licenses connected conversation over fragment-trading; verdicts below apply the updated rules. Prior rounds preserved on disk.

SCENE S1 (gallery floor, June/Theo meet):
- 1 Voice convergence: CLEAN - June: correction plus self-joke ("I read everything. It's that or the wine."); Theo: verify-then-fact ("Since five o'clock."). Counter-candidate: two clipped beats early on; function diverges immediately.
- 2 Monotone Q/A: CLEAN - statement/verification alternation, two words to two sentences.
- 3 Missing interiority: CLEAN - "She respected that" survives the tail-strip as oriented interiority (it reads his checking, not a button).
- 4/6/7: CLEAN - no portent-questions; trade terms glossed by action; attribution constant.
- 5 Fake-McCarthy: CLEAN - clipped lines information-bearing.
- FAKE-SHARP: CLEAN - counter-candidate "It's that or the wine." speakable, self-aimed.
- INTERIORITY-OVERCORRECTION: CLEAN.

SCENE S2 (enrollment ambush):
- All modes CLEAN. New Odile line "So was everyone I have ever taught. Come anyway." checked against her updated card (dry humor that includes): it converts the order into an invitation while keeping imperative shape; speakable; retained. "People have stayed married to remain in it." remains licensed.

SCENE S3 (stockroom):
- All modes CLEAN. Theo's long practical speech ends plain ("I should have said no anyway. I didn't."); June's probes are distinct in target (motive, rule, reality of class).

SCENE S4 (sign-up close):
- All modes CLEAN. The rewritten exchange builds (question with elaboration, answer in three moves, beat, offer); "I can extend the coverage." remains the riskiest line and survives as work-idiom anchored in stated history.

Tail-strip verification: remaining narration buttons counted: "He never announced what he was doing." (character-load-bearing, kept), "the towel still worked on her" (plot), chapter-end pen handoff (earned ender). Density within the new cap.

OVERALL: CLEAN
