Reading cold. Focalizer per scene: A = Theo, B = June, C = June, D = Theo. Verdicts below carry per-criterion evidence; the one blocker is in Scene B.

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`SCENE A — Ch06, project-room transit / Priya food care, Sam sightline care:`

- `CLEAN — Voice convergence` — checked Ben vs Priya inside the shared logistics register; counter: Priya "and a spreadsheet, and the note has a rule at the top" vs Ben "I made the font bigger, because the font needed help." — Priya *audits* Ben and pivots to condition ("I just don't trust a cheap room when I'm tired"); Ben spirals and self-mocks. She counters logistics with body-awareness, satisfying her "don't become another logistics mirror" note. Not interchangeable.
- `CLEAN — Monotone Q/A` — exchanges are statement/counter of uneven mass; counter: "I'm fine." / "I know. Your left knee keeps looking for a wall. Stool." — refusal/override, asymmetric, not a question/answer volley.
- `CLEAN — Missing interiority` — Theo focalizes; counter: at June's "We don't live together." / "It's the only data." he gets no named reaction, only "The route card came back against Theo's shirt." Survives: the shared route card returning un-taken to his chest is the object-carried beat, and "On the seventh head, he stopped counting" displaces the sting into logistics. A reader could want one flicker more, but this is design, not a dark mind.
- `CLEAN — Questions-as-statements` — counter: Ben "How did you two decide? ... What made it obvious the overlap was worth it?" is a genuine ask ("the open face of a man asking the experienced table"), deflated at once by June; no smuggled position.
- `CLEAN — Fake-McCarthy` — counter: "Stool." (twice) — earned brisk directive per Priya's clinical-directive card; the repetition enacts not-re-arguing, not stripped starkness.
- `CLEAN — Jargon-trading` — counter: "route card" runs untranslated but as an emotional object, not a traded world-term; "the overlap" is glossed by Ben ("Not the lease. The overlap.").
- `CLEAN — Attribution opacity` — six speakers, all tagged or inferable; counter: untagged "I'm not counting the sesame stick." resolves to Priya because June just said "I had a sesame stick."
- `CLEAN — FAKE-SHARP` — counter: June "It's the only data," capping Ben's "That's also data." then exiting to the lithograph — a polished correction rhythm. Survives narrowly: it is exactly her card's "one clean observation ['We don't live together'] plus a deflecting tag ['It's the only data']," and it's killed by action, not held up for the reader.
- `CLEAN — Interiority-overcorrection` — no doubling; counter: "Theo respected the name for admitting the problem." is a single dry beat pivoting to the room, not a re-explanation of June's line.

`REVISION ORDERS:` None.

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`SCENE B — Ch18, Tasker draft / Mara scarf return / Monday reconsideration:`

- `CLEAN — Voice convergence` — June vs Mara; counter: "And dried flat." (June) and "Painting day?" (Mara) both clip. Survives: Mara clips to deliver care ("Bring it Tuesday. Sit by me."), June clips to withhold. Verified the batch repair: Mara does **not** translate Luis — "Luis made too much." / "Luis is circling the block; I should go." are logistics, and her repair is the practical job, "I need another painter at the table." Card-compliant.
- `CLEAN — Monotone Q/A` — counter: "Painting day?" / "Painting." is the tightest pair; survives because it's a one-word deflection immediately broken by Mara's imperatives — no sustained volley.
- `CLEAN — Missing interiority` — June focalizes; counter: from "Mara —" to the goodbye her reaction to being pursued is only "I don't think I—" plus "June held the foil brick level." Survives: aborted syntax + held object are her card register ("half-finished self-interruptions when vulnerable"; full-form "Thank you for October" = trying-not-to-fall-apart).
- `CLEAN — Questions-as-statements` — counter: "Painting day?" could smuggle concern-about-isolation, but the concern rides "She looked at June for a second longer than the scarf required," not the question.
- `CLEAN — Fake-McCarthy` — counter: "Painting." — a stripped one-word line that is functional deflection about a solitary holiday, not performed starkness.
- `CLEAN — Jargon-trading` — the terms sit in interiority, not dialogue; counter: "Asha holding a Kessler slot and Dana holding a cold room" — proper nouns, but glossed functionally as the weaker option.
- `CLEAN — Attribution opacity` — two speakers, clear throughout.
- `FAIL — FAKE-SHARP` — "She left it in drafts and closed the laptop. **Not a refusal. A held edge.**" The two-beat negation-aphorism reproduces the "Not symbolically"-style formula this batch exists to strip, and labels June's non-send from outside instead of letting the withheld draft carry it. (Mara's "October." / "It's almost December." was the surviving counter — warm, speakable deflection of thanks.)
- `CLEAN — Interiority-overcorrection` — counter: "He had chosen for her for six weeks without her knowing, and she wasn't going to let that choose the next thing too." + the cursor-blink enactment. Survives: the enactment adds physical paralysis (new), and the same draft revisited Thursday→Monday is a held position re-tested, not a restatement.

`REVISION ORDERS:`
1. `Scene B — FAKE-SHARP` — "She left it in drafts and closed the laptop. **Not a refusal. A held edge.**" The negation-reframe fragment is the exact tic the batch was chartered to remove. Cut the aphorism and let the gesture already on the page hold the beat (draft unsent, laptop closed); if a gloss is needed, recast into June's card register — concrete, self-interrupting, no polished negation — trading the abstract "held edge" for the physical thing she won't send. Scene pressure: a private held decision, not a maxim; the narration should stay as plain as the hand. While there, de-conflict the batch-wide "hold" abstraction ("A held edge," "nothing to hold" in C, "doors he could hold" in D) before it calcifies into the next formula.

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`SCENE C — Ch20, Asha/Nia Tasker follow-through by text:`

- `CLEAN — Voice convergence` — June-texts vs Asha-texts; counter: both trade time specifics (June "Said no at 10:52"; Asha "she answered in nine minutes"). Survives on the page: June logs — capitalized, punctuated, colon-timestamps = control; Asha runs lowercase and amazed — "who does that."
- `CLEAN — Monotone Q/A` — async one-way updates; counter: "Zelle okay?" answered by "a thumbs up" — single beat, no volley.
- `CLEAN — Missing interiority` — June focalizes; counter: she's silent through Asha's two texts, then lands "June did not write back. There was nothing to fix and nothing to hold." Withheld, then named.
- `CLEAN — Questions-as-statements` — counter: Asha's "who does that." is a rhetorical fragment of genuine amazement (no mystique, per her card), not a portentous position-question.
- `CLEAN — Fake-McCarthy` — counter: "There was nothing to fix and nothing to hold." — parallel narration; survives because it names June's specific loss of a managing role, not starkness-for-effect. (The "hold" abstraction is recurring across the batch — see Scene B order.)
- `CLEAN — Jargon-trading` — counter: "the gripper bar's probably a stripped set screw." is mechanically untranslated, but the next line supplies the weight — "she said that's basically the interview." The reader weighs Asha's competence, not the mechanics.
- `CLEAN — Attribution opacity` — every message labeled ("Text to Asha:", "a second line had landed under Asha's thumbs-up").
- `CLEAN — FAKE-SHARP` — counter: "Asha was already three moves into a building June had just declined, walking toward the press on her own feet." — concrete (literal press, literal feet); caps relinquishment without an abstraction.
- `CLEAN — Interiority-overcorrection` — counter: three consecutive framings of Asha's independence ("nothing to fix and nothing to hold" / "three moves into a building June had just declined" / "on her own feet"). Survives as reflex→fact→image diminuendo, each adding a facet — but this is the batch's nearest miss; do not add a fourth framing in revision.

`REVISION ORDERS:` None.

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`SCENE D — Ch23, June tells Theo the Asha result:`

- `CLEAN — Voice convergence` — Theo focalizes, June dominant; counter: the "That's" cluster across the speaker line — June "That's a real thing to be broke toward." / Theo "That's two months before Kessler. That's all I get to say about it." plus echo "I know it doesn't solve anything." / "It doesn't solve it." Survives: deliberate couple call-and-response; June carries concrete imagery (lentils, sonogram) absent from Theo's restrained register, and Theo has one turn — too little mass to blur.
- `CLEAN — Monotone Q/A` — no questions present; nearest is the assertion/echo "I know it doesn't solve anything." / "It doesn't solve it.", not Q/A.
- `CLEAN — Missing interiority` — counter: Theo goes silent through June's closing speech; his reaction to "I wanted to say that out loud in a room" is unstated. Survives: the scene's content *is* Theo witnessing without fixing ("He had four things he could have said ... He picked his brush back up"), and "She scraped the brush on the palette, too hard." carries what he sees.
- `CLEAN — Questions-as-statements` — none; mode not exercised.
- `CLEAN — Fake-McCarthy` — counter: "Good. It should." — clipped; survives because "She scraped the brush on the palette, too hard." exposes the cost behind the tidy words rather than performing calm.
- `CLEAN — Jargon-trading` — the four helps sit in Theo's interiority, self-glossed; counter: "an advance he could float against nothing" is mildly opaque but neighbored by "a crate he could drive to Ridgewood himself."
- `CLEAN — Attribution opacity` — two people, June tagged throughout the long close.
- `CLEAN — FAKE-SHARP (flagged for density)` — counter: three authored June lines cluster at the beats — "That's a real thing to be broke toward.", "The helpful version costs me the room.", "like it was a sonogram." Survives: each is earned by immediate setup (lean-January concretes; Theo's four-doors restraint; Asha's excitement) and sits in June's licensed dry-reframe/visual-noun register, and the scene still clears the half-functional floor ("Dana." / the keys logistics / "It doesn't solve it." / "Good. It should." / "I put her name in because she's good, not because I felt bad"). Watch: "broke toward" and "helpful version costs me the room" are the most compressed lines in the batch; a third polished beat tips June from dry into quip-dense, against "quiet interiority over quip density."
- `CLEAN — Interiority-overcorrection` — counter: the close "I'm not sorry I'm not going. I wanted to say that out loud in a room instead of just deciding it in my kitchen." names the scene's purpose after showing it. Survives: "I wanted to say that out loud in a room" is new (her need for a witness) and "in my kitchen" is a concrete callback to her solo Ch18 deliberation — spatial, not therapy-speak, so it clears her "never says: therapy-speak speeches." Still the scene's most on-the-nose line.

`REVISION ORDERS:` None.

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Batch note (charter check): the food care-move de-duplication landed — clementine + "I'm not counting the sesame stick" (A), stool + "Your left knee keeps looking for a wall" (A), pie-under-turkey + "I need another painter at the table" (B), Sam's sightline steer (A) are four distinct care registers, no "Did you eat?" residue. The one surviving formula-residue is the negation-aphorism in Scene B, plus the "hold" abstraction beginning to recur across all four excerpts.

`OVERALL: BLOCKING (1 finding)`
