# Narrator-Publicist Audit — Chapter 08 ("Social Debt") — ROUND 2 (repair verification)

id: narrator_publicist | owner: claude | tier: risk | round: 2
chapter: `output/chapters/chapter_08.md` (revised) | POV: Theo (close third) | prior: `output/critiques/claude/chapter_08.narrator_publicist_round1.md` — PUBLICIST-FOUND (1 line), line 75

**Narrator-stance check (step 4, re-run):** `premise/READING_GUIDE.md` §1–2 declares close third past, warm/precise, interiority through action and object; `premise/premise.md` declares no unreliable or publicist narrator anywhere. No design license for unattributed admiration exists. Findings stand on their own. Free-indirect admiration is excusable only where the perceiver is named on the page and the book treats the read as fallible.

**Mechanical gate cross-check:** `chapter_08_quality_gate.md` reports 0 open findings, 0 allowlisted; the 65 WATCH hits (hands/eyes tells at line 17, repeated descriptors) are non-blocking texture signals and none coincide with a publicity pattern.

**Scope of this round:** full re-sweep of every narrator description of Theo, June, Odile, and the cohort against markers 1–5 — not only the repaired line. Round-1 EARNED rulings were re-verified against the revised text, not carried forward on trust; all round-1 quoted lines were confirmed present and unchanged except line 75.

---

## Repair verification — the blocker line (line 75)

**EARNED — "Her fingers folded the corner of her napkin once, a small pleat. Theo noticed because noticing had become the problem, and because he had no right to ask what the pleat meant." (line 75) — the on-page action that backs it: the gesture itself, in sequence after Mara's "Junes included. Both of you." (line 71) and June's "I'm in." (line 73).**

Work shown, clause by clause, because this was the blocker:

- **Strip test:** delete everything after the first sentence — "Her fingers folded the corner of her napkin once, a small pleat" remains. A complete observable action survives; the line is not pure publicity.
- **Marker 4 (gesture inflation), the round-1 failure mode:** the old line decoded the pleat into a complete invisible interior narrative ("the hesitation had happened anyway, somewhere he could not see, and June had chosen past it") and asserted it factively ("Theo understood"). The revision asserts no content. The pleat is not translated; Theo explicitly does not know what it means and concedes no standing to find out. The communicative power claimed for the gesture is zero. The reader is left to decide — which is the source fix, executed.
- **Residual trace, checked honestly:** "what the pleat meant" presupposes the pleat is signal rather than noise — a faint ghost of the old line's claim. Ruled tolerable, for three reasons: (1) the presupposition is bracketed inside Theo's perception, not narrated as fact; (2) it is immediately disqualified by his own admission of no access and no right; (3) the chapter frames his noticing as the problem ("noticing had become the problem"), continuous with line 11's "taking notes without his own permission" — the read is treated as his, compulsive, and fallible. Any wording that reattached content to the pleat ("meant the yes had cost her") would reopen the finding; this wording does not.
- **Marker 1 against June:** the old line advertised June on both axes — flawless composure ("no visible hesitation," "exact") plus unknowable-except-to-Theo ("somewhere he could not see"). Both assertions are gone. No composure is graded; no privileged access is claimed; the un-knowing is located in Theo's standing, not June's mystique.
- **Campaigning for Theo, checked:** the line could have converted June-publicity into Theo-publicity (the exquisitely perceptive watcher). It does the opposite — both clauses convict him ("the problem," "no right"). This is risk-inventory register per his voice card, not omniscience.
- **Attributable perceiver:** Theo, named, self-indicted.
- **Incidental rule check:** the line comments on a gesture, not on June's language or delivery, so it does not trip the reading guide §2 zero-tolerance dialogue-diagnosis rule; "folds paper corners" is June's voice-card stress tell now planted as pure observable, available for reread without being cashed early.

**The round-1 revision order is satisfied.** The paragraph now ends on the gesture plus a visibly-his, visibly-uncertain register of it; the forbidden pairing (asserted composure + asserted off-page hesitation) does not survive in any wording.

---

## Full re-sweep — per-line verdicts

**EARNED — "He had gotten the stance. June leaned toward a thing and angled toward the door at the same time, both true at once, weight already negotiating the exit." (line 11) — the on-page action that backs it: "he had watched her do it in three rooms and had apparently been taking notes without his own permission" (line 11).**
Re-checked as marker 1/5. Content is body mechanics (lean, angle, weight), not mystique; the admiration is framed as evidence against Theo. Strip residue: a full physical description. Perceiver: Theo, self-indicted.

**EARNED — "Odile came up the way she did everything in the building, as if the building should be grateful." (line 15) — the on-page action that backs it: "'Nothing stays up here that isn't on the rack… Take it flat.'" (line 19); "pulled open the second drawer without hunting for it" (line 23); the pre-prepared folder and pre-addressed envelope (line 23); "She left ahead of him." (line 27).**
Strongest marker-3 counter-candidate in the chapter, re-tested. Strip residue: she came up the stairs, unhurried. The figuration's content is proprietary entitlement, cashed within five sentences by imperatives and pre-staged props. Perceiver: Theo, whose filial awe the voice card marks as his flaw ("with Odile, filial irritation and awe"). Passes, still narrowly.

**EARNED — "newsprint concealed nothing from a woman who had run a studio for forty years" (line 17) — the on-page action that backs it: "which was panel-shaped because it was a panel" (same sentence); the folder "sized exactly for a class panel" (line 23).**
Marker 1 re-check. The sentence's own first clause deflates the mystique — no expertise is needed to clock a panel-shaped package. Residue independently supports the conclusion.

**EARNED — "her errands arrived like posted notices: not negotiable, not personal, occasionally placed with suspicious accuracy" (line 27) — the on-page action that backs it: the folder and envelope produced before he asked (line 23); the errand routing him to Sonia's, where June is (lines 31, 39).**
Checked as marker 1 (Odile-as-all-knowing). "Suspicious accuracy" is Theo's experiential generalization, demonstrated in the same scene by the pre-staged props, and it is a sanctioned reread-test plant (reading guide §8: every Odile scene consistent with her knowing) rendered as Theo's fallible suspicion, not narrated fact. Perceiver: Theo.

**EARNED — "sitting the way people sit when they have announced they are only staying for one coffee and are on their second" (line 31) — the on-page action that backs it: "June at the outside edge with her tote on her lap" (line 31); the daughter "topped up June's mug without asking" (line 45).**
Checked as marker 2 (generalized-type framing, the "kind that made people reconsider their life choices" shape). Ruled earned because the generic frame grades nothing admiring — it is deflating-warm (she claims to be leaving and stays), the observables are in the sentence, and the type is verified, not hypothetical. Perceiver: Theo through the window.

**EARNED — "Luis had clocked the folder, identified the contents as paint by shape and context, issued the relevant material fact, and required nothing further." (line 43) — the on-page action that backs it: "'Not against the wall,' Luis said. 'Radiator's behind that panel. Lay it on the seat.'" (line 41).**
The full transaction is quoted before the gloss; the gloss summarizes, it does not inflate. Perceiver: Theo ("it took Theo a second to absorb").

**EARNED — "She set down a grilled cheese in front of June with the pickle spear already removed and said, 'I remembered.'" (line 45) — the on-page action that backs it: the act itself, by a named perceiver (Sonia's daughter), deflated by June's "You're the only one in this city who has" (line 47).**
Marker-2 fix executed correctly: one named character, one specific remembered preference, no generalized constituency of June-admirers.

**EARNED — "did the inventory under the table the way other people checked their phones… June needed the night to stay exactly this size." (line 63) — the on-page action that backs it: "She moved the fries a little closer to Luis" (line 59, observed before the inventory); "Mara wanted the week-eight plan confirmed by every individual party, and went around the table getting it" (line 71); tote on lap (lines 31, 63).**
Re-checked for Theo-as-specially-perceptive campaigning. The phone-checking simile classifies the inventory as compulsive habit; the one unbacked item (June's needed night-size) rests on observables and is immediately exceeded when June raises the panel question herself (line 79), keeping the read fallible. The adjacent figuration "inspecting the crust as if it owed her a clean edge" (line 63) was strip-tested separately: residue is the diagonal dismantling and the inspection, both observable, and June's own crust verdict (line 65) cashes it.

**EARNED — "Mara declared the matter settled by the only authority she recognized." (line 99) — the on-page action that backs it: "Mara was now asking Luis to rule on the December question. Luis said, 'People come back to warm rooms'" (line 99).**
Checked as marker 4/5 toward Luis. The "authority" is comic hyperbole about Mara, demonstrated twice on the page ("the second time tonight"), and Theo's counting it is in-register.

**EARNED — "That was the whole goodbye, and it was somehow the most expensive part of the night." (line 101) — the on-page action that backs it: "Mara was planning Tuesdays into December for a couple that had an expiration date in writing" (line 77); the saved seat (line 39); the wave explicitly graded "ordinary" (line 101).**
Marker 4 re-check: the cost lands on Theo's ledger (the lie's expiry), itemized in-scene; the wave is given no communicative power — its ordinariness is the point. The round-1 polish note stands unexecuted: "somehow" is an unneeded mystification hedge and can be cut without loss. Polish note, not an order; it does not rise to a finding.

**EARNED — "the stance was still exactly, indefensibly right: toward and away at once… The part he had not, and would have to know her better to get." (line 109) — the on-page action that backs it: "where the scarf had covered her for two weeks and he had refused to invent what he did not know, the primed white wedge stayed untouched" (line 9); "where his ignorance lived" (line 109).**
Marker 1 re-check (June-as-unknowable): the unknown is a literal unseen patch of hair, localized and owned as Theo's ignorance, and "indefensibly" convicts him for the accuracy rather than admiring it.

**EARNED — "He set the alarm and went home owing everyone." (line 117) — the on-page action that backs it: "One panel, unlabeled, facing the wall, not destroyed" (line 115); "Junes included. Both of you" (line 71); Sonia's envelope errand (lines 25, 39).**
Self-reproach with itemized creditors; debtor framing, not martyrdom.

No new narrator descriptions were introduced by the repair; the diff is confined to line 75, and the surrounding paragraph (line 77) was re-read in its new context — "the red folder sat beside him as if it had been invited too" is object-guilt figuration about the folder, not character publicity.

---

## Chapter verdict

**CRITICAL-DISTANCE-HELD** — no unattributed publicity remains.

Most admiring surviving line, as the format requires: "Odile came up the way she did everything in the building, as if the building should be grateful." (line 15). Earned by: perceiver Theo (filial awe, marked fallible by his voice card), and by the on-page actions that cash the entitlement within five sentences — four imperatives ("Take it flat," "That comes down too. Lights."), the second drawer opened without hunting, and the pre-staged folder and envelope.

The round-1 blocker is repaired as ordered; the napkin pleat now stays observable and fallible, and campaigns for no one.

## REVISION ORDERS

None. Zero PUBLICITY lines in the revised chapter.

Carried polish note (non-blocking, repeated from round 1): cut "somehow" in "it was somehow the most expensive part of the night" (line 101) at the next touch — the night's cost is already itemized; the hedge mystifies what the chapter has priced.
