# Comedy Doctor — Chapter 18 ("Returned Scarf")

## Calibration pre-check

Three items named in the calibration packet — `sleeping in shifts`, `zero did not last`, `commits to the bridge` — are **absent from the current chapter text** (verified by full-text search of `output/chapters/chapter_18.md`). They appear to reference an earlier draft state; no ruling is possible against text that isn't there. The other flagged items (`hostage exchange`, Thanksgiving foil pan, Tasker/study overlay wit) are present and ruled below.

## INVENTORY:

1 — "left it in the dish rack, where it was at least honest about being used" (l.5) — mechanism: transferred self-rebuke (object indicts her half-packed denial) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (September boxes, the colander she keeps un-packing) — dramatic work: shows the leaving is a pose June's own kitchen keeps refuting — workshopped: no
2 — "*crooked is dynamic* / *it's crooked.*" (l.9) — mechanism: deflation (gallery-speak punctured by flat literalism) — source: character (Sam's reframing vs Ruth's exactness) — funniness: 2 — portable: no as networked: pays off at l.75 (wall spacing) and l.87 (Sonia's crooked flyer) — dramatic work: cohort alive in June's absence; the kiss flyer circulating — workshopped: no
3 — "Forty of those existed. Some were now in laundromats." (l.9) — mechanism: deadpan escalation-by-understatement — source: character (June counting exposure in flat units) — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the cover kiss, the borrowed scarf at her throat) — dramatic work: makes the public kiss ambient and inescapable — workshopped: no
4 — "Luis cooked for eleven and we are four." (l.11) — mechanism: specificity incongruity — source: character (Mara engineering an obligation-free invite) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: makes refusal cheap, so the cost lands at l.13 — workshopped: no
5 — "Mara sent back a turkey and a heart and asked nothing else, and that, somehow, was the part that cost." (l.13) — mechanism: register collision (emoji tact vs grief) — source: character/situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Mara's restraint as the heaviest pressure; sets up Sunday — workshopped: no ("somehow" checked: it is June not tracing the cost, not narrator vagueness — allowed)
6 — "a man balancing a foil pan on both palms so it would not crease" (l.21) — mechanism: observational specificity (holiday told by surfaces, painter's eye) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no as used: plants the foil-carry paid at l.71 ("Don't tilt it") and closed at l.87 ("foil level the whole time like she'd been told") — dramatic work: June's solitude measured against everyone else's carried food; setup for Mara's brick — workshopped: no
7 — "sending it tonight, this particular night, would have nothing to do with ceiling height" (l.31) — mechanism: deadpan self-exposure (competent pretext named as pretext) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (Tasker bay, the back-stair night) — dramatic work: the chapter's hinge — refusing to flee on Theo's schedule — workshopped: no
8 — "dana says the radiator works if you kick the valve, which is dana for it doesn't work" (l.35) — mechanism: translation gloss of another character's speech — source: character attempt riding a banned mechanism — funniness: 1 — portable: yes ("which is X for Y" template fits any book) — dramatic work: keeps Ridgewood unglamorous (recoverable without the gloss) — workshopped: yes — **BLOCKING**, and a reading-guide §2 zero-tolerance hit: this is dialogue diagnosis (characterizing what Dana's sentence "really" means)
9 — "not rushing you. rushing them is my job." (l.39) — mechanism: symmetrical reversal — source: narrator-grade zinger in Asha's mouth (card: "short, information-bearing," no mystique) — funniness: 1 — portable: yes (any recruiter in any book) — dramatic work: restates the deadline l.35 already carries — workshopped: yes — **BLOCKING**
10 — "Ruth holding a drumstick like evidence" (l.43) — mechanism: courtroom simile — source: narrator-overlay caption on a photo — funniness: 1 — portable: yes; the evidence-framing family was flagged at Ch05 ("avoid June evidence-default") and this is the default — dramatic work: none item 2 didn't already do for Ruth-as-verifier — workshopped: no — **BLOCKING**
11 — "We saved you a plate, working girl" (l.43) — mechanism: affectionate misnaming (the lie "working" repeated back kindly) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (the lie, the plate that becomes the foil brick) — dramatic work: door held open; dramatic irony on June's excuse — workshopped: no
12 — "she'd told a lie to avoid a dinner so she could paint a room she was also avoiding. Then she rinsed the bowl." (l.43) — mechanism: self-aimed irony + mundane deflation — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: names the avoidance spiral without an emotional weather report — workshopped: **yes, the frame only**: "and had one dry thought:" pre-rates the joke — **BLOCKING (frame)**
13 — "June had taken it because refusing would have taken longer than wearing it" (l.49) — mechanism: economy-of-effort logic — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (re-grounds the Ch03 handoff) — dramatic work: the loan's origin restated as June's avoidance signature — workshopped: no
14 — "Now she filed it differently and made herself stop filing at all." (l.49) — mechanism: self-interrupted clerical figure — source: character tic riding a spent register — funniness: 1 — portable: yes (the book's stock clerical default, not this scene's material) — dramatic work: real (re-reading Theo's Week-3 attention) but recoverable in June's optical vocabulary — workshopped: no — **BLOCKING** (family at zero allowance: Ch16 order "add none"; Ch17 repair removed its instance)
15 — "*Keep it!! I have two. That was the plan.*" / "*You told me that so I'd take it.*" / "*and it worked. ok.*" (l.53–57) — mechanism: repetition-with-variation, gag escalated to confessed strategy (Ch03 "take the scarf, I brought two" → plan admitted) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (requires the Ch03 plant and six weeks of loan) — dramatic work: June refuses smoothing; Mara concedes and converts defeat into the Sonia's meeting — workshopped: no
16 — "her free hand already out, palm up, resigned to it" (l.61) — mechanism: physical anticipation (losing the argument before it starts) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: Mara accepting June's terms wordlessly — workshopped: no
17 — "It was padding even in transit." (l.67) — mechanism: deflation-by-utility (the charged token demoted to dish padding) — source: situation/character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: denies June the dramatic severance she planned; Mara's mercy is making the ending undramatic — workshopped: no
18 — "It's a dish I want back, so it's not even generous. It's a hostage exchange." (l.75) — mechanism: anti-sentimental reframe (generosity disclaimed as transaction so June can accept it) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: **no** — the hostage is literal in this book's object economy: the scarf return just cut the tether and the dish re-installs one, banked at l.101 ("one return down, one acquired") — dramatic work: as stated, plus consistency with the confessed strategy of item 15 — workshopped: no (generated mid-refusal, not staged for quotation). The calibration item survives.
19 — "Ruth has opinions about wall spacing and I need another painter at the table." (l.75) — mechanism: understatement + transparent pretext — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (rhymes with Ruth's l.9 crookedness audit) — dramatic work: the Tuesday invitation; engineered-pretext family instance 3, varied by transparency (both parties see through it) — workshopped: no
20 — "The dish under the turkey meant another return, another week with Mara's kitchen in her apartment." (l.81) — mechanism: restatement of item 18 — source: narrator-overlay explainer — funniness: 1 — portable: n/a — dramatic work: NONE the dialogue and l.101 don't already do; stalls the beat between the Corolla glance and "Thank you for October" — workshopped: yes (a joke explained) — **BLOCKING**
21 — "October. It's almost December. You can thank me in soup." (l.85) — mechanism: deflation of valediction (gratitude converted into future obligation) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: blocks June from closing the friendship like an account — workshopped: no
22 — "low, by the register, crooked." (l.87) — mechanism: repetition-with-variation (Ruth's l.9 verdict recurring as mute fact) — source: situation — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the cohort's reach surrounds even June's solo errand — workshopped: no
23 — "The chair did nothing. It was wood at an angle... that was a problem the viewer had brought with them." (l.91) — mechanism: deadpan denial (the joke *is* the defense) — source: character (June pre-defending against an audience that doesn't exist — she keeps the studies face down) — funniness: 2 — portable: no — dramatic work: the chapter's grief-comedy peak; the rupture rendered as a chair she refuses to caption — workshopped: no
24 — "His silence would be signing her W-2." (l.97) — mechanism: register collision (intimate grievance in payroll terms) — source: character — funniness: 2 — portable: no (anchored to the literal Tasker W-2 named twice in-chapter) — dramatic work: the exact reason the better column can't be chosen tonight — workshopped: no — survives **only if** the surrounding clerical cluster thins (see orders 5–6 and distribution note)

**Checked and excluded as non-attempts** (counter-candidates, shown per stance): "That was the whole plan, and it required no one" (l.7 — rueful thesis, not a bid for a smile); "Better than I treat it" (l.67 — modal warmth inside the voice card's unquotable-dialogue floor); "Luis is circling the block; I should go" (l.85 — logistics exit); "She didn't count them" (l.41 — checked against the spent Ch16 chair-count family: this is abstention, not a count-shaped joke; it does not re-ignite the gag — cleared); Theo's "Okay. No chair." (l.15 — the chair family stays grief-side, correctly). Overlay hunt through the Tasker and study passages found one caption-shaped line, "In that angle, leaving was literal..." (l.41) — thesis figuration, not wit; outside this audit's jurisdiction, flagged for Figuration/Plain-Translation.

## Tracker checks

- **"I brought two" gag:** instance 3 (Ch03 plant → l.49 flashback → l.53–57 confession). Arc complete; the strategy is confessed. **Retire** — any further use is repetition without variation.
- **Engineered-pretext family** (Ch06: "do not default downstream"): instance 3 at l.75, varied by transparency. Rest the family after this chapter.
- **Foil-carry setup/payoff:** opened l.21, paid l.71, closed l.87. Do not extend into Ch19.
- **Crooked-flyer micro-motif:** 3 in-chapter instances (l.9, l.75, l.87), closed; Ch19 hanging/spacing comedy must not inherit.
- **Clerical/fiscal register** (spent at Ch07/08, repaired to zero in Ch13, capped Ch16/17): Ch18 narration carries `evidence` (l.43), `filed/filing` ×2 (l.49), `ledger`, `ratify`, `signing her W-2` (l.97). After orders 5–6 execute, survivors are anchored to the literal offer paperwork and notebook columns — hold there; Ch19 adds none.
- **Ch17 caps verified clean:** `the way` connective — 0 instances; keys cluster — one transformed recollection of Theo's canvas contents (l.5; other `key` hits are "turkey"); `stop coming` / `stranger` clusters — 0; `Oh.` reservation — untouched; Ruth editorial-sharp cap — unspent ("it's crooked" is plain correction); Odile — absent, n/a; scarf personification (capped "until rupture") — post-rupture chapter uses demotion (item 17), not agency.

## Distribution checks

- **Density:** 24 attempts across ~2,900 words — not thin; the verdict question was landing, not volume. Distribution is asymmetric by design: the solo Thursday/Monday painting-and-columns stretches run nearly joke-free except defended denial (items 1, 7, 23), and that is the grief calibration working — per June's voice card her jokes are smoke screen, and the chapter denies her an audience; Mara imports the register whenever she enters. The thinness in the solo sections is grief-calibrated and proven by what survives there: only jokes June tells to defend herself from her own material.
- **Mechanism variety:** deflation ×5, deadpan ×4, repetition-with-variation ×3, register collision ×2, plus physical anticipation, specificity, reframe, denial, and the two ordered-out shapes. Not MONOTONOUS. Source split: character 19, situation 2, narrator-overlay 2 (items 10, 20 — both ordered out), banned-mechanism 1.
- **Sweetness:** the two sharpest beats — Theo's three-word text (l.15–17) and the face-down studies (l.93–95) — are joke-free; Mara's comedy presses June back toward the table rather than padding the rupture (every bit she lands creates an obligation: dish, Tuesday seat, soup). Not OVERSWEETENED.
- **Cringe:** riskiest item checked is "working girl" (item 11) — an affectionate epithet from an established mother-hen voice teasing a lie she may suspect; lands for the O'Leary-warmth target reader. No CRINGE.

## VERDICT: CLEAR

Majority funniness-2, overwhelmingly character-sourced, mechanisms varied, overlay near-zero once orders execute. Six blocking findings stand below; the chapter is not committable until they are resolved.

- **Strongest item:** the scarf-confession volley (item 15) — "*Keep it!! I have two. That was the plan.* / *You told me that so I'd take it.* / *and it worked. ok.*" — a Ch03 plant paid as confessed strategy, comedy and arc in the same three texts.
- **Weakest surviving item:** "We saved you a plate, working girl" (item 11) — survives on the dramatic irony of the lie underneath, not on the epithet, which is the chapter's most off-the-shelf phrase.

## REVISION ORDERS:

1. **Item 8 (l.35)** — "which is dana for it doesn't work." Failure: the joke's whole mechanism is glossing another character's speech — dialogue diagnosis under the reading guide's zero-tolerance rule — in a portable "which is X for Y" frame. Order: keep "the radiator works if you kick the valve"; delete the translation clause. If the slot needs weight, have Asha *act on* what Dana said in her own shorthand — a material consequence or warning (cost, space heater, see-it-first), per her voice card's "practical warnings without dressing them up."
2. **Item 9 (l.39)** — "not rushing you. rushing them is my job." Failure: workshopped symmetrical reversal; portable recruiter wit; off Asha's card. Order: break the mirrored syntax and re-source to the concrete clock already in scene (the headcount-by-the-15th is Kessler's deadline, not hers) — plain text-message shorthand, no balanced clauses.
3. **Item 12 frame (l.43)** — "and had one dry thought:". Failure: the narrator pre-rates the joke before delivering it. Order: delete the label; run straight from eating-standing-up into the thought, and keep "Then she rinsed the bowl." as the after-beat. The joke itself stands.
4. **Item 20 (l.81)** — "The dish under the turkey meant another return, another week with Mara's kitchen in her apartment." Failure: re-explains the hostage-exchange bit one beat after Mara delivers it; repetition without variation; stalls between the Corolla glance and "Thank you for October." Order: cut the sentence whole. Comprehension is carried by "Thank you for October" and the bit is paid at l.101 ("one return down, one acquired").
5. **Item 14 (l.49)** — "Now she filed it differently and made herself stop filing at all." Failure: clerical/filing figure from a family at zero allowance (Ch16: add none; Ch17 repair removed its instance); the book's spent default doing June's thinking. Order: recast the re-evaluation of Theo's Week-3 drawing in June's optical/craft vocabulary (she can re-*see* the drawing — what its accuracy means now — rather than re-file it), or cut to a plain two-beat. No substitute clerical noun.
6. **Item 10 (l.43)** — "Ruth holding a drumstick like evidence." Failure: the evidence-framing default flagged at Ch05 ("avoid June evidence-default"), and redundant — Ruth-as-verifier already paid at l.9. Order: cut the simile (the photo carries it) or replace with an optical specific of how Ruth holds the drumstick; no courtroom noun.

Verdict-level watch (no order): after orders 5–6, the clerical-fiscal register in this chapter reduces to `W-2`, `ledger`, `ratify` (l.97), all anchored to the literal offer and the notebook columns — at ceiling. Item 24 keeps its funniness-2 only at that reduced concentration; Ch19 must add zero clerical figures. Log gag retirements from the tracker checks above (`I brought two`, engineered-pretext rest, foil-carry closed, crooked-flyer closed) into `output/tics.md` at commit.
