All inputs read. Re-running the full Dialogue Doctor pass on the revised chapter now — the manifest requires one scene block (scene 01, lines 2–117, the chapter's only scene: studio → Sonia's booth → Marchetti stockroom).

# Audit: Dialogue Doctor — Chapter 08, ROUND 2 (verification of round-1 repairs)

Read cold against the revised text. All seven failure modes re-tested on the full chapter, not only the five repaired spots. Stance: skeptical; every verdict carries quoted evidence.

SCENE 01 (chapter 08, lines 2–117: studio cleanup → Sonia's back booth → Marchetti stockroom — manifest scene 01, the only required scene):

- **1. VOICE CONVERGENCE — CLEAN** — round-1 FAIL was Theo's "That's the distribution, yes," which adopted June's mock-officialese wholesale. The replacement is "He touched the folder's ribbon, stopped, and put his hand back on the table. 'It isn't on display. That's the only part I can defend.'" (line 91). Verified against Theo's card: it does not extend June's witness-protection conceit, it is a practical fact followed by a stripped-down concession — the exact shape of his licensed "I said boss because it was true. It just wasn't the whole truth." — and the aborted gesture makes the shame audible before he speaks. Cover the attributions and the line cannot be June's: she would have capped the joke; he surrenders the joke. Strongest remaining counter-candidate: "'You ranked the pie,' Theo said" (line 67) — three words in something close to June's dry-observation rhythm — but it survives because it is not a correction (her rhythm) but a domestic noticing (his card: remembers preferences, attention as care), and June immediately re-differentiates: "I rank everything. I just usually don't read out the results." All other speakers stay separable: Mara over-explains, Ben jokes nervously, Priya directs, Luis issues one material fact, Odile commands.

- **2. MONOTONE Q/A RHYTHM — CLEAN** — re-checked the June probe sequence (lines 79–97) post-repair. Strongest counter-candidate: "'So it lives with you now.' / 'It lives in a folder.'" — the echoed verb is composed, but lengths and weights stay unequal (June one clause; Theo's final answer three sentences), the sequence ends asymmetrically with "Was it that bad?" receiving a real, partial answer, and the repair did not flatten the variance. Followability holds: a cold reader can state what June asked (where is the panel, was it bad), what Theo refused (the full truth about the four square inches), and what he conceded ("One part did").

- **3. MISSING INTERIORITY — CLEAN** — Theo's mind stays lit through every exchange. Strongest counter-candidate: the post-repair receipt of "Huh" — June's "'Huh,' June said. She ate a fry." (line 97) is now a loaded short line followed by silence, the cut-list's riskiest shape — but the silence is marked: she turns "back into the table's traffic" and the focalizer registers what his partial honesty bought and what he chose not to amend ("Theo let the count stand," line 99). The under-the-table inventory (line 63) and the napkin-pleat reading ("the hesitation had happened anyway, somewhere he could not see, and had been overruled," line 75) are rule-9 interiority reacting to lines, not re-explaining them.

- **4. QUESTIONS-AS-STATEMENTS — CLEAN** — checked every interrogative in the revised text. Strongest counter-candidate: "So it lives with you now." (line 85) — a position delivered declaratively, but it manufactures no portent: it is a literal inference from "anything not racked goes home the same night," and Theo answers it as logistics. "Was it that bad?" is a genuine question genuinely answered. No noun-question/portentous-answer pattern introduced by the repairs.

- **5. FAKE-McCARTHY MINIMALISM — CLEAN** — the stripped exchanges are Odile's ("'Sonia is expecting her envelope. You're going anyway.' … 'That comes down too. Lights.'", line 25) and June's "Huh." Strongest counter-candidate: "Lights." — one word, no cushion — survives because Odile's card licenses exactly this ("Again," "No," "Eat" can carry scene work; under pressure, fewer words, more imperatives) and the surrounding narration is full, not starved. Attribution never drops out to perform starkness anywhere in the revised text.

- **6. JARGON-TRADING — CLEAN** — strongest counter-candidate: Luis's "Not against the wall. Radiator's behind that panel. Lay it on the seat." (line 41) — self-translating; fact and consequence in the same breath. Mara's "Junes included. Both of you." (line 71) was tested as a possible untranslated group-term; it self-translates in the same line ("Both of you"). Acrylic-gouache, glassine, and the flat-file system all live in narration where Theo's POV weighs them.

- **7. ATTRIBUTION OPACITY — CLEAN** — re-read the repaired keeping-Tuesdays run (lines 51–61) with attributions covered, since the repair reordered it. Strongest counter-candidate: "'That's why,' Priya said." — still the riskiest line because it answers Ben across Mara's thread, and it still carries an explicit tag plus grounding business (moving the fries toward Luis). Every line in the run is tagged ("Ben looked up," "Mara said," "Ben said," "Priya said," "Ben said"); Sonia, Sonia's daughter, and Luis are named at their single lines. No opacity introduced.

- **FAKE-SHARP — CLEAN** — the round-1 FAIL (four consecutive landing lines: "informing you rather than consulting you" / "slide deck" / "That's why" / "allude to it with dignity") is repaired. The run is now: "Okay, announcement. I've decided we're keeping Tuesdays." / "The class is on Tuesdays." / "After the class ends. Dinner. Same booth if Dee lets us. People can say no. I am saying it out loud before we all forget to ask." / "I'd have made a slide deck." / "That's why." / "We're also not discussing the spreadsheet tonight. We agreed." / "I was thinking paper calendar. Different disease. Same drawer." Mara's antithesis is gone; her lines are plain hosting speech, slightly over-explained, which her card licenses ("ordinary hosting lines are fine"; under pressure, over-hosts) — the uncontracted "I am saying it out loud" passes Rule 4 as deliberate emphasis inside an announcement. Functional/unquotable lines now make the style-bible floor inside the run (the announcement, "The class is on Tuesdays," the over-explained plan, the spreadsheet moratorium). Strongest counter-candidate: Ben's "Different disease. Same drawer." — a parallel fragment pair, the most composed thing left in the run, and Ben's second joke in five lines against his card's "cap contingency jokes in multi-character scenes." It survives, at the cap: it is a self-deprecating logistical joke in calendar vocabulary (both explicitly his licensed register, and the rewrite direction order 4 specified), it concedes a fault rather than landing a win ("different disease" admits the spreadsheet and the calendar are the same compulsion), and it is attached to live stakes Priya raised two lines earlier — not a "polished zinger detached from stakes." Any further wit added to this run in later revision would tip it. Re-tested the survivors named in round 1: June's witness-protection line still survives (speakable in one breath, honest warning dressed as a joke per her card's care move, continuous with "alleged cherry" / "crust program" / "I rank everything"); Luis's "People come back to warm rooms" still survives (literalized by the radiator four exchanges earlier; delayed-punchline license); Ben's exit "We can stay later next week. I'm practicing." is near-verbatim his card's example line. Theo's replacement line was tested against the zinger-while-ashamed bullet and is not a zinger: no wit, arrives with friction (the aborted reach for the ribbon), and lands him at the plain follow-up from a less composed start, as ordered.

- **INTERIORITY-OVERCORRECTION — CLEAN (both directions of Rule 9)** — the round-1 FAIL (the table-debt ledger run twice, against the chapter card's "do not over-explain debt") is repaired. The early pass is now observed fact only: "Theo watched June look at the plate before she picked up the sandwich. The folder stayed exactly where it was. Somehow it took up more room." (line 49) — no accounts-opened gloss. The single totaling pass (line 77) no longer re-lists the booth defense or the pickle; it moves from Mara's December planning directly into the hinge, which survives intact and verbatim: "You could not make a lie smaller by doing one more thing in secret. The bin was not honesty. The bin was just a second concealment with better hygiene." Strongest counter-candidate for residual over-explaining: the under-the-table inventory (line 63: "Mara needed the plan ratified… Ben needed the spreadsheet joke received and retired… June needed the night to stay exactly this size") — it interprets the run it follows, but it is Theo's card-named tic (mental inventories of what people need), occurs once, varies its phrasing, and reacts to the exchange rather than re-totaling it. The under-stripped direction also holds: the focalizer is present at every exchange (see mode 3).

- **BOOK-SPECIFIC (dialogue-diagnosis ban, zero tolerance) — CLEAN** — both round-1 instances are confirmed cut. (a) Mara's "It was the way you said it" is gone; the replacement does the win instead of rating the delivery — "Mara lifted a folded jacket from the saved seat with the satisfaction of a maitre d'. 'The head count worked.'" (line 37), which rates the tactic's outcome, not Priya's phrasing. (b) June's "That's more than I expected to get" is gone; her receipt is now action only — "'Huh,' June said. She ate a fry." (line 97) — with no spoken measurement of his answer's forthcomingness. Full sweep of the revised text for new instances; counter-candidates checked and surviving: "'It wasn't magnificent, it was a head count'" (Priya re-describing her own act, not anyone's language); "Mara's voice doing the work of four people" (line 3 — acoustic quantity heard through a stairwell, literal staging like "whispered," not a style rating); "She said it at conversational volume, between fries" (same precedent, cleared in round 1, unchanged); "Ben needed the spreadsheet joke received and retired" (names the speech act's social function and what Theo does with it — he laughs, "and meant it" — not its phrasing or delivery); "issued the relevant material fact" (describes what Luis's line was about, cleared in round 1, unchanged); "He had four versions of the sentence ready and none of them survived contact" and "true in the aggregate and false where it counted" (Theo assessing the truth-content of his own undelivered drafts); "I rank everything. I just usually don't read out the results" (June on her own habit of ranking things, not anyone's sentences). The `load-bearing` ban (reading_guide_bans.tsv, BANNED, both scopes) returns zero hits in the revised text; the mechanical gate report confirms 0 open findings.

REVISION ORDERS: none. All five round-1 orders are verified executed against the revised text — (1) the Mara delivery-caption is cut and replaced with seat-handover business plus an outcome line; (2) June's answer-measurement line is cut, the fry/turn-away receipt stands alone; (3) Theo's convergent ratification is replaced with a guilt-true concession that starts less composed and still lands at his plain follow-up; (4) the keeping-Tuesdays run is flattened to one landing pair plus one at-cap Ben self-deprecation, with the functional floor met and per-speaker rhythm restored; (5) the debt ledger runs once, and the hinge sentences survive verbatim surrounded by table action. No new blocker was introduced by any repair.

OVERALL: CLEAN

One non-blocking watch item for the tics tracker, not a Dialogue Doctor finding: the folder personification now runs three beats in one scene ("the width of a small guest," "Somehow it took up more room," "as if it had been invited too"). All three are narration, not dialogue, and the escalation is doing the chapter's debt work, but a third-party line edit could thin one without loss.
