# Claude-Tic Audit - Chapter 20 Raw Draft

Target: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_20.round_01.md`  
Mechanical input: raw gate open=2, WATCH=37. WATCH candidates included titlecase heading, 12 em-dash dialogue/good hits, 9 repeated `against` descriptor hits, 2 `from X to Y` hits, 2 trailing participles, 1 three-part cadence, 1 transition-verb `shifted`, 1 uncontracted casual dialogue, 1 hand/body watch.

- FOUND - tic 1 em-dash overuse - 12 mechanical instances - raw lines 5, 13, 33, 37, 41, 85, 89, 97, 101, 113, 131, 155, 161 include several functional dashes, but line 85 and 89 use dash clusters as rhythm crutches. ORDER: thin in integration where punctuation is carrying speed rather than meaning.
- CLEAR - tic 2 shimmer prose - checked object/decision passages - nearest miss: "the glaze that milky cobalt that went gray-green at the rim" (line 5) - passes because it is June's painter-eye on a plot object, not atmospheric drift.
- CLEAR - tic 3 recurring mood verbs - checked for mattered/earned/weighed/carried and adjacent mood verbs - nearest miss: "the clean answer was gone" (line 143) - not a recurring mood-verb pattern.
- FOUND - tic 4 default-elegant noun phrases - 2 instances - "the kind of thing Sam did" (line 39); "the kind of thing people said" (line 103). ORDER: make both more direct in integration.
- CLEAR - tic 5 habitual qualifiers/softening adverbs - checked adverbs and hedges - nearest miss: "properly this time" (line 39) - passes as literal box-lifting correction, not momentum drain.
- FOUND - tic 6 narrator-as-philosopher intrusion - 1 instance - "Nobody, ever again, would be able to tell her this had been decided for her" (line 143). ORDER: reroute to concrete consequence/receipts.
- FOUND - tic 7 theme-explanation after beat lands - 2 instances - "She was not staying for anyone..." (line 103); "In the brochure that had looked like the benefit" (line 143). ORDER: keep the earned-stay test but convert to object/action logic.
- CLEAR - tic 8 recursive negation - checked not-X/not-Y chains - nearest miss: "not because Nia had asked" is absent; "not a favor. A clause" (line 71) is licensed plain distinction and not recursive negation.
- CLEAR - tic 9 self-aware meta-clauses - checked for "if that was the word" family - nearest miss: "which she chose to find efficient rather than telling" (line 97) - passes as June self-deflection, not meta-clause.
- FOUND - tic 10 over-balanced parallel clauses - 2 instances - "You win the math... You win it..." (line 113) works in dialogue, but "give me keys and a paycheck and a wall..." plus "good nights..." line 117 risks over-polished thesis. ORDER: watch in later Dialogue/Positive Prose audits; preserve only if it remains speakable.
- CLEAR - tic 11 single-short profundity close - checked scene closes and chapter close - nearest miss: "She did the rest before it could cool" (line 147) - functions as transition, not scene-end stamp; final paragraph ends on visible study/action.
- CLEAR - tic 12 default lovely/quiet/small register - checked rupture/decision scenes - nearest miss: "quiet apartment" (line 57) - light touch but not enough to flatten the chapter; consider replacing if density grows.
- CLEAR - tic 13 default physical reaction beats - checked body tells - nearest miss: "stood holding it" (line 37) - object action, not throat/heartbeat default.

Book-specific findings:

- FOUND - markdown artifact - raw line 19 `**Sam Rivera:**` - ORDER: replace with prose text-message rendering.
- FOUND - reading-guide tic "a beat" - raw line 77 - ORDER: remove.
- FOUND - mechanical banned echo-line - raw line 103 - ORDER: rewrite.
- FOUND - obvious typo - raw line 141 `10:5o-whatever` - ORDER: correct.

WATCH reconciliation: the raw gate's 37 WATCH hits align mainly with em-dash density, repeated `against`, and formatting/titlecase signals. The audit elevates only em-dash rhythm, default-elegant phrasing, and theme gloss as substantive Claude-tic risks.

Chapter verdict: TICS-FOUND (8). Orders executed during initial integration before acceptance.
