# Chapter 14 Claude-Tic Audit

Source: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_14.round_01.md`

Mechanical WATCH input: `reddit1-repeated-descriptor=35`; `wp-aititlecase-headings=1`; `aiisms-2.25-transition-verbs=2`; `qscan-07-finally=1`; `tells-2.1-hands-body-watch=8`; `watch-qs-trailing-participle=9`; `aiisms-2.6-gaze-look-descriptors=1`; `qscan-05-raw=1`; `tells-2.1-throat-breath-watch=2`; `watch-qs-and-but-start=1`; `aiisms-2.33-overused-verbs=2`; `writing-jargon-defaults=2`; `reddit2-emdash-dialogue-good=1`; `legacy-uncontracted-casual-dialogue=3`; `ruleset-concession-positive-rhythm=1`; `llm-catalog-fiction-stock=1`; `qscan-08-weight-of=1`; `fieldguide-sensory-checklist=1`; `wp-aivocab-cluster=3`; `watch-rt2-emdash-participial-absolute=1`; `watch-rt2-emdash-comma-list=1`.

## Required Tic Lines

- FOUND - tic 1 em-dash overuse - 9 candidate lines / 14 dash marks - "joint piece next - a sixteen-by-twenty..." (line 9), "after - not the kiss itself" (line 15), "almost laughed - he caught..." (line 57), "a few minutes - she said..." (line 73), "I'd rather-" (line 79), "if June were watching - a man..." (line 95), "read the way she painted - fast..." (line 115), "part he could do - drafting..." (line 125), "it upside down across the table - the blue-shadowed plate..." (line 127), "Catalogs (9) - J. Park..." (line 165) - ORDER: keep the interrupted-dialogue dash and the log dash if needed; convert most narration dashes to periods, commas, colons, or shorter sentences.
- CLEAR - tic 2 shimmer prose - checked object descriptions, catalog handling, and kiss aftermath - nearest miss: "the oldest one's top edge gone the color of weak tea" (line 97) - it is a concrete aging detail tied to the catalog object, not atmospheric drift.
- CLEAR - tic 3 recurring sentence-mood verbs - checked `mattered/earned/weighed/carried` family - nearest miss: "in case the chairs mattered" (line 73) and "six p.m. mattered" (line 135) - both are literal label/choice questions, not narrator-mood verbs.
- FOUND - tic 4 default-elegant noun phrases - 3 instances - "a very small trade show" (line 57), "the specific quiet of a library table" (line 125), "small ground lying between them like an unsigned agreement" (line 125) - ORDER: keep at most one comic concrete comparison; replace the polished quiet/agreement phrasing with action or object pressure.
- FOUND - tic 5 habitual qualifiers/softeners - 4 instances - "roughly midnight" (line 9), "She almost laughed" (line 57), "That's roughly what I was saying" / "roughly right" (lines 85-87), "if he was honest about it" (line 99) - ORDER: dialogue `roughly` may stay because June/Odile volley works; replace the narrator softeners at lines 9, 57, 99.
- FOUND - tic 6 narrator-as-philosopher intrusion - 3 instances - "the case closed itself, the way his cases did" (line 101), "the gap had started charging rent" (line 95), "important things kept arriving lately: dressed as a logistics question" (line 141) - ORDER: ground these in Theo's immediate action and risk calculation; avoid aphoristic abstraction.
- FOUND - tic 7 theme-explanation gloss - 2 instances - "It was, he thought, the most counterfeit thing..." and "Nobody had faked that part. There'd been no need." (line 125) - ORDER: retain the idea through table work and quiet, not narrator thesis.
- FOUND - tic 8 recursive negation / Not-X-but-Y - 1 blocking instance - "Not the whole truth, but true" (line 95) - ORDER: replace completely; do not use a negation formula around Theo's secret.
- FOUND - tic 9 self-aware meta-clause - 1 instance - "if he was honest about it" (line 99) - ORDER: replace with a direct sensory/memory fact.
- FOUND - tic 10 over-balanced sentence structures - 3 instances - the public-document list in line 101, the library-table balance in line 125, and the tote handoff balance in line 151 - ORDER: break at least two into shorter, less symmetrical beats.
- CLEAR - tic 11 profundity-stamp final sentence - checked ending paragraph and final line - nearest miss: "measured a third time anyway" (line 165) - this is character action under stress, not abstract profundity.
- FOUND - tic 12 default lovely/quiet/small register drift - 2 instances - "specific quiet" and "small ground" (line 125) - ORDER: keep `small` only where it describes actual panel size; do not use `quiet` as aesthetic approval.
- CLEAR - tic 13 physical-reaction defaulting - checked throat/heartbeat/breath/chest/body reaction beats - nearest miss: "She almost laughed - he caught the exhale of it" (line 57) - it is a concrete heard suppression, though the dash/softener should be repaired.

## Book-Specific Additions

- FOUND - evaluative `which` caption regression - 4 instances - "which had taken him..." (line 9), "which told him..." (line 27), "which meant..." (line 75), "which was inventory" (line 163) - ORDER: remove all four; Ch13 explicitly set Ch14 target at zero new instances.
- CLEAR - `Winter Kitchen` overuse - checked full draft - nearest miss: "`Winter Kitchen.` It was on a postcard for a while." (line 131) - exactly one sanctioned invocation.
- CLEAR - forbidden reveal leakage - checked `aunt/nephew/Eileen/acknowledg/PHL/Philadelphia/offer formal` - no candidate found; the closest pressure is "He shelved for Odile sometimes" (line 95), which hides rather than reveals the relationship.
- FOUND - Ch13 logistics-joke inheritance - 3 pressure points - "nine options... footnotes" (lines 59-65), "there's a sign about it in her head" (line 109), "bagging them like produce" / "nine pounds of someone's career" (lines 147-149) - ORDER: logistics can remain the engine, but synthesis should keep the catalog/bag comedy and avoid stacking extra logistics punchlines around card sizes.

## WATCH-Count Reconciliation

The mechanical report's `fieldguide-one-sentence-paragraph-gravity` CAP and `banned-1.4`/`banned-qs-not-x-but-y` blockers are real. WATCH counts understate the main problem because the highest-risk Chapter 14 issue is book-specific regression (`which` captioning and self-interpreting logistics narration), not a registry pattern. Hand/body hits are mostly literal cuff, card, catalog, and tote mechanics. Throat/breath hits are not romance cliche, but line 57 still needs rhythm repair.

Chapter verdict: TICS-FOUND (9). Blocks synthesis/acceptance until the orders above are executed or defended.
