# Dialogue Doctor - Chapter 03 - Round: Reader-Directive Sweep (2026-07-24)

Scope: full cold re-read after: closing-sequence dialogue rewrite (user-flagged passage), em-dash removal in the new material, tail-zinger strip ("security is watching", "Dating lumber in a doorway"), Odile warmth exit line ("A decent first Tuesday," ... before anyone could agree with her). Updated style rules applied. Prior rounds preserved on disk.

SCENE S1 (arrival/setup, June/Theo): all modes CLEAN. "You found the stairs." / "They were where you said they'd be." remains functional, grounded in prior arrangement.

SCENE S2 (poses, Odile and cohort):
- 1: CLEAN - eight speakers distinct (Ben's buffer monologue, Priya's feeding check, Mara's block-circling report, Luis's "You'll see better.", Ruth's one-word self-introduction).
- FAKE-SHARP: CLEAN - Odile rail verdicts licensed ("This one looked."); cohort stays functional.
- 3: CLEAN - June's interiority continuous through the humiliation beats.
- Remaining modes CLEAN.

SCENE S3 (closing assignment/exodus):
- New Odile exit line tested against updated card: "A decent first Tuesday" is one-phrase praise to the room, speakable, and the undercut ("before anyone could agree with her") is exit behavior, not a narration zinger. Retained.
- Mara scarf handoff CLEAN ("It's wool," remains her refusal of ceremony).

SCENE S4 (tins and walk out, rewritten):
- 2: CLEAN - turn lengths vary one clause to four sentences; each beat advances (accusation, partial compliance, motive confession, counter-observation, admission, offer, decline, plan).
- 5: CLEAN - the former mimed negotiation is now spoken with attribution; em dashes removed without flattening ("He patted the pocket." as beat sentence).
- 3: CLEAN - June's staying decision on the page in speech and framed interiority.
- FAKE-SHARP adversarial pass on the rewrite: "Stubs are a rounding error." defended by the concrete mechanism that follows; "Sam keeps something very close to minutes." is deflection-with-information at low pressure; Ruth's drawer line is her single sharp line this appearance. All retained.
- Remaining modes CLEAN.

Tail-strip verification: cut "the way you walk when security is watching" and "Dating lumber in a doorway was strange enough."; kept "a stage the size of a bath mat" (functional image) and the final "went first" (earned ender). Density within cap.

OVERALL: CLEAN
