# Chapter 22 Initial Draft Assessment

Draft assessed: `output/drafts/claude/chapter_22.round_01.md`  
Raw word count: 3,269

## Verdict

`ACCEPT-AS-BASE-WITH-REPAIR`

Claude's draft hits the high-leverage Ch22 contract: June sends `Sunday. 9. Just coffee.` inside the chapter, the diner scene stays private, Theo's apology names asymmetry rather than just "lying," June's Tasker/New York decision predates repair, the Week 6 fear canvas is corrected from Theo's too-kind Ch21 reading, the portrait remains consent-governed, the first real kiss is under terms, and `After Class` is re-armed for Tuesday at 4:00.

## Kept Strengths

- Opening gives June's material New York state on the page through Dana wall notes, `FEB = coat`, the blue dish, and the unanswered phone.
- The two-bubble reply beat is specific and active; June's deletions show decision without turning into exposition.
- The diner blocking is efficient: coffee-only term, taped booth, Theo not over-ordering, June paying.
- Theo's apology has the right target: he withheld a fact that changed the terms while the intimacy became real.
- June's city choice is clearly before Theo: "Before your texts" and the Tasker/Asha/Dana/Kessler facts protect the earned-stay arc.
- Portrait handling is consent-forward: he does not bring it; June sets the rule that she turns it or it stays turned.
- Close turns decisions into an index card, which is exactly June's material register.

## Required Repairs Before Integration

- Mechanical gate failed open=7:
  - one-sentence paragraph CAP in scenes 1 and 2,
  - banned echo-line poetics in the text-deletion sequence,
  - `the way it does when`,
  - two `, then` / sequential-action blockers.
- Thin several polished thesis or generic-pressure lines:
  - "That was the whole problem in nine words" is too proud of itself.
  - "that ship has sailed and sunk" is portable.
  - "It's the thing you do" risks sloganizing the fear-canvas correction.
  - "That's the whole reason I'm telling you" is serviceable but likely too summarizing.
  - final card explanation is strong but should be tested for narrator-publicist over-certification.
- Dialogue Doctor should stress-test Theo's apology length. It is followable and strong, but it may arrive too complete for a man whose Ch21 hedge proved he is not cured.
- Positive Prose / Plain Translation should test "woman who no longer trusted her own apartment to hold still," "the exit installed before she'd even reached for a door," and the final "you couldn't pretend you hadn't decided it."

## Protected-State Check

- Public fake-couple truth: protected.
- Public nephew identity: protected.
- Odile knew-from-night-one reveal: protected.
- Theo's knowledge of Tasker/Dana/Kessler at start: correct; he learns only because June tells him.
- Portrait-as-apology: avoided.
- New York as romance reward: avoided; June explicitly decided before Theo's texts.

## Integration Direction

Use Claude draft as the prose base. Repair mechanical blockers first, then run a Ch22-specific dialogue/competence/prose audit stack. Keep the chapter's spine; do not average it with any counter-draft if a Codex parallel is produced.
